


Labore et Honore

by missgoalie75



Series: Ex Scientia Vera [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8810269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missgoalie75/pseuds/missgoalie75
Summary: Daphne Greengrass' year and five months after the Battle of Hogwarts. [Companion piece to Non Ducor, Duco.]





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Characters/Pairings:** Daphne Greengrass, featuring: Astoria Greengrass, Neville Longbottom, Blaise Zabini, Tracy Davis, Luna Lovegood, Theodore Nott, Minerva McGonagall, OCs including parents and grandparents; Theodore/Daphne
> 
>  **Warnings:** language, talks of racism
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimers apply.
> 
>  **A/N:** Title is “By Labor and Honor” in Latin. Thanks to Kahlia for helping me out with some of the Japanese translations because my memory is rusty af and also for making sense of this nonsense. If there are any errors in terms of translating, please let me know!
> 
> I highly recommend reading Non Ducor, Duco, the first fic of this series before reading this one since it's really two sides of the same coin, however, it could probably stand alone?

With stinging eyes, Daphne Greengrass watches Theodore Nott climb into the portrait and walk further away until he and the painted little girl have disappeared.

She forces herself to breathe, counting until she feels more in control of her emotions, less on the brink of an abyss she won't fall into and lose herself. She has more important things to focus on, like the safety of her sister.

She goes to where her sister is, in the corner with two of her peers. Astoria has her arms wrapped around her legs, head resting on her knees. She used to do this when she woke up from nightmares.

Daphne lowers herself to the floor, sitting the way that their _sobo_ taught them when they were little girls. "Let me take you to London," Daphne murmurs.

Astoria looks at her friends, who are whispering heatedly and ignoring them. Her eyes, so wide with shock, giving her more of an innocent look, roam around the crowded and hectic room.

"No," Astoria answers, finally. "I should be here with everyone else. We all should."

Daphne's fingers curl into fists against her thighs, nails digging into her palms, fitting into old wounds. 

"Where's Nott?" Astoria asks.

Daphne forces herself to not glance back at the portrait. "He had business to take care of. He'll be fine."

Astoria's brow furrows. "He's –"

"I'm going to see if there's a way we can contact our parents. Stay where you are. I'll find you."

She slides to her feet, gracefully making her way across the inn. She's sure there is very little to no security in Hogsmeade – she could make her way to the owlery and get a message across, although she's unsure if someone is outside of the village making sure no one is making contact with the outside world –

"Don't bother, Greengrass, you don't know the password to let yourself out," Pansy Parkinson says from behind her, sounding bored.

"You seem calmer, Parkinson," Daphne comments coolly, turning to face her. She never liked her – _classless_ , she always thought.

Parkinson's cheeks flush into a blotchy red. "Like you all weren't thinking the same thing," she hisses. "We had a chance to live."

Daphne doesn't say anything, not willing to give her the satisfaction or peace of mind. She isn't sure if she would've done the same thing if the circumstances were dire enough – if her family were directly at stake? If her sister was in the Dark Lord's hold? She would drag Potter by the hair to his death, hold him down and help the Dark Lord finish him.

But on the edge of a precipice, before anyone could see where the wind blows? No. Daphne is not reckless and she tries not to be cruel, two things that make up Pansy Parkinson.

"Where's Nott, Greengrass? I'm surprised you're not taking advantage – like mother, like daughter."

Daphne's hands are hidden in the sleeves of her robe – they shake with repressed anger.

"As if _that_ would ever happen," Parkinson continues with a scoff, an ugly smirk on her face as she looks down on her. "Does the Greengrass family even constitute as pureblood these days?" 

"I suppose the answer to that question is the same as the answer to, 'is Pansy Parkinson daft enough to think that her _continually_ throwing herself at Malfoy will garner her a marriage proposal?'" Daphne responds with a small shrug of her shoulders.

The flush on Parkinson's cheeks darkens. "I wonder what it must feel like to be uglier than your little sister. Must be so tragic."

"Well, at least I don't have your pug nose," Daphne retorts, brushing past Parkinson to find another way to get in contact with her parents.

The door suddenly opens, revealing Slughorn, still in his sleep clothes, leading a group of witches and wizards. A few of them are parents, who barely spend more than a moment hugging their children before following Slughorn through the portrait.

Some of her peers follow behind them. Tracy catches Daphne's gaze and nods in farewell. Daphne doesn't know if Parrish stayed behind or not, if they're still seeing each other – they haven't been talking over the last few weeks.

The door is open.

Daphne slips through and is a few steps away before the door is violently shut behind her.

If there's one thing that she's become adept at this year is her sensitivity to enchantments – she actively searches for them now, even if it's so part of her it's almost subconscious. 

The inn is saturated with enchantments: layers and layers, exceptions and loopholes that it gives her a headache. She applies a Disillusionment Charm to herself, despite the darkness of the night, and is careful with her steps, keeping a safe distance away from the storefronts, but far away enough from the middle of the cobble-stoned street.

The owlery is a quarter mile up the street and like most of the other shops, is empty. It's easy to slip inside, but her heart nearly drops in her stomach when she sees all the cages are empty. Her breath rattles in her chest until she makes out the faint 'hooing' from the upstairs.

She removes the Disillusionment Charm and rushes behind the cashier's table, grabbling an inkbottle, crumples parchment in her fist and a few quills. She searches fruitlessly for treats to tempt an owl with, but can't find any and she doesn't have the time – she rushes up the stairs, wincing at the way the wood creaks under her feet.

There are a dozen owls hiding in the corners of the ceiling.

"I need to get a message to London. Who's feeling brave?" Daphne asks, pleading. She's grateful she's alone.

It's a painful minute, but finally one flies down. With the hand clutching her parchment, she gently runs a knuckle down back of the owl's head. "Thank you."

Another thing she became more adept at is her Japanese – at least when it comes to writing and reading it. Theodore had his means of secrecy – she has hers.

The message is brief and she whispers the address in London. To her surprise, as the owl begins to fly, four other owls leave along with it. Smart – Daphne wishes she could purchase him.

She puts the Disillusionment Charm back on her and goes back the way she came. In the meantime, she tries not to think about the way she gripped his shirt when he said goodbye in the Hogs Head Inn or the way he stared at her face, committing it to memory. She tries not to think about the way he half-begged her on the snowy Hogwarts grounds not to ask him about his mother and the possibility that Theodore may meet the same fate as her. 

Daphne tries not to think about Theodore at all - the way his narrow, neat handwriting would fill her notes during class, discussing routes or the way his slim fingers would slip into her robe pocket to switch books. It’s not the time or the place.

**

She had just removed the charm and reached a hand out to the door when it opens, Dumbledore's brother standing guard.

He sniffs, stepping aside and letting her through. "Let me guess, reaching out to your family?"

"Something like that."

**

At dawn, Slughorn comes through the portrait, sweaty and streaked with dirt and blood, announcing that You-Know-Who is dead. That they've won.

The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs are elated – cheering and hugging and crying. Daphne looks at her fellow Slytherins and just sees relief.

She exhales.

**

Like the way they came into the Hog's Head Inn, there's an organized exodus to enter Hogwarts. Daphne is holding Astoria's hand as they walk through the corridors.

Despite all logic, Daphne always felt safe in Hogwarts. Now, even though You-Know-Who has been defeated, that peace seems to have finally come after thirty years, she can't accept it, feels like shadows will come and take her.

Daphne has never seen death before until this morning.

The dead have been moved to the Great Hall, all lined up in a row.

Daphne brings a hand to her mouth, feeling as if she might vomit. But she looks on the faces of every single body, hoping that she won't find Theodore.

She feels faint, her knees almost buckling when she doesn't recognize anyone.

Hyperaware of someone walking toward her, she whips her head, surprised to find Luna Lovegood.

Lovegood blinks and smiles. "Hello, Daphne."

"Lovegood." Pause. "I'm…pleased to see you're well."

Lovegood's smile widens. "Yes, I'm still alive. It's quite nice. Are you looking for Theodore?"

Daphne is used to denying, she has to be, but she's tired, she hasn't slept in over twenty-four hours and the last few nights before that have been erratic and restless at best. She only nods.

"I saw him a while ago. Well, not quite _saw_ , he was under a Disillusionment Charm, but he helped me in disarming a Death Eater."

She doesn't quite understand this apparent fascination Theodore has with Luna Lovegood of all people. She doesn't know if jealousy is warranted, if it's a delusion, that Daphne didn't just imagine the ways Theodore would look at her sometimes, like she was the only one worth looking at.

"His father is dead."

Daphne freezes.

"I'll show you."

Daphne follows Lovegood through the crowd, thoroughly ignored by everyone. The Death Eaters have been separated from the rest of the dead. Seeing You-Know-Who's corpse makes her sick to her stomach.

But what nearly makes her faint is sees Theodore Nott's father before her.

For a second that seems to last for a lifetime, she sees Theodore. But eventually, she finds the errors – the wrinkles, the bridge of the nose is too wide, the eyes too close together, the mouth too thin. Minor, important things that let Daphne breathe again.

"Where's his wand?" Daphne asks suddenly.

"Not accounted for," Lovegood says in a singsong tone.

The corner of Daphne's mouth twitches and she exhales in sheer relief.

"Well, I better go, my friends are concerned," Luna says, briefly glancing across the Great Hall before staring at Daphne. "It was lovely to see you. I hope you find Theodore. He's a good person." She waves at her before drifting away.

Daphne follows Luna with her eyes, watches her stop by Potter and Granger. She makes sure to lose herself in the crowd before they notice her even though it's a useless precaution – Potter never paid attention to anything. Although she supposes there has to be a little respect given to the one person who was able to take down You-Know-Who for good.

She finds Astoria quickly enough, whispering in her ear that she'll be in their common room.

"I'll come with you," she says quickly.

Daphne isn't sure when her parents will come for them, but all the same, they speed-walk out of the Great Hall and down empty corridors.

The Slytherin common room has remained undisturbed; everything left the way it was before they were escorted to the Great Hall. But instead of heading up the girls' dormitory, Daphne goes to the stairway to the boys' dormitory – the only unfamiliar territory in the Slytherin common room for her.

"What are you doing?" Astoria asks.

"I'm – I'm seeing if Theodore – he left books behind, I'll be a moment," Daphne almost stutters, hating how her face flushes in embarrassment before she rushes up the stairs.

She figures the layout is similar to the girls' dormitory, so she makes her way through until she reaches what she assumes is where the seventh year boys sleep. Most of the curtains are drawn save for what she knows must be Crabbe and Goyle's beds. She wrinkles her nose in distaste before smoothing her face and shutting her eyes, hoping she'll pick up on Theodore's magic, a useful skill she's picked up this year from constantly managing masking spells for books.

It takes her a few moments to find it as she slowly walks around, but once she picks up on a faint trace, she opens her eyes and strides directly toward the last four poster bed on the left.

She reaches a hand out to the curtain, feeling a charm to keep intruders out, but it fades away like mist under her fingertips. She draws back the curtains and finds a perfectly made bed and nothing else.

She drops to her knees to look under his bed, finding his school bag. She reaches for it and drags its heavy weight into view. He told her that there was a letter, but…

Daphne reaches onto the bottom of his bed, running her hand along the wood until she feels the smoothness of parchment. She unsticks it from the bed with a whispered spell and it drops to the ground.

She freezes, wondering if she should open it now or later, but she doesn't have time to compose herself after reading whatever he left for her, so she slips it into her inner pocket of her robe and stands up, placing the bag on her shoulder. She takes a deep breath, but she doesn't smell anything that she tends to associate with him; it's like he was never here.

Daphne swallows thickly and steps back through the curtain, quick to leave the dormitory. It should be easy to pack her things – she's been living out of her trunk since Easter with the looming possibility of needing to run with her family.

The common room is empty save for a few of her sister's bags. She doesn't like the idea of leaving Theodore's bag unattended, but she hides it under one of her sister's bags before heading up the stairs to her dormitory.

She passes by Astoria who is throwing everything into her trunk with broad strokes of her wand, not bothering to fold anything.

"I told you to make sure you'd be able to leave in a moment's notice," Daphne says, lightly placing a hand on Astoria's back.

"I didn't think we'd actually leave," Astoria admits. "I'll be a few more minutes. Besides, I'm sure Mum and Dad will be a while."

"Right. Well, I'll help you once I've gathered my things."

"Okay, thanks."

She goes to her bed and it only takes a minute to collect her things and pack it in her trunk. She charms it so it floats behind her as she walks back to the common room. She grabs Theodore's bag and is about to open her trunk and stuff his bag in it when Blaise Zabini enters the common room. He looks at her with slightly widened eyes, then shifts to the floor where her belongings are, then back at her.

"Smart time to leave," Zabini comments, stepping over to her.

"Yes, well, there's no reason to stay, is there," Daphne answers, unlocking her trunk.

His eyes pointedly shift to Theodore's bag hanging from her shoulder. "I haven't see Nott since we left the school. I take it he left?"

She forces herself to keep a neutral expression. "I suppose."

He only looks at her before nodding. "I know nothing of his whereabouts," he says.

She doesn't understand why he's stating it so formally until the realization hits her that they're protecting each other. She swallows before responding, "I know nothing of his whereabouts either," with maybe a little too much honesty.

He nods once. "Well, take care, Greengrass."

"You too, Zabini."

He heads up to the boys' dormitory and she finally puts away Theodore's bag in her trunk before going back up to the girls' dormitory to help her sister pack.

**

Her parents find them as they're leaving the common room.

"Thank Merlin," her mother whispers as she kisses their foreheads in a rare moment of affection. "Let's go."

And so they go. Daphne was given a vague outline from her parents in terms of how they'd leave the country, but every step is somehow is a surprise: how they leave the school, how they're in London, Daphne and Astoria collecting the rest of their belongings.

But what's even more of a surprise is when their father hands them a Portkey that will activate at the strike of the hour.

"You're not coming with us?" Astoria demands.

"We're going to take care of things here before we meet you," her mother says, hands clasped in front of her.

Daphne understands why they'd stay – try to clear their names as best they can so they can move on with the rest of the world, but it's painfully obvious that even at eighteen, Daphne also understands the sharp need to be protected by her parents.

She doesn't voice her concerns – like what if they're thrown into Azkaban? Will they be in Kyoto for years? Will they be able to take their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s? – she won't in front of her sister. Instead, she tries to smile as best she can and kisses her mother and father on their cheeks, her arms stuck to her sides.

Astoria hugs their parents as long as she can. Daphne fights back against the stinging in her eyes and her body is heavy with exhaustion. Finally, Daphne holds tightly to her trunk, double checks her things she's shrunk and thrown into her pockets, and locks eyes with Astoria before grabbing the Portkey.

Daphne shuts her eyes, unable to cope with the warping of her surroundings and the tugging she feels inside her. No matter how many times she does this, she still feels sick when she lands on her feet in her grandparents' backyard.

It's the early evening in Kyoto and it's balmy out. Daphne usually visits her grandparents – or _sofubo_ , she better get used to primarily speaking in Japanese – for usually two to four weeks each summer and it feels wrong to be here so early.

The back door opens and her _sofubo_ are rushing out. Her grandmother – _sobo_ – is muttering in Japanese to herself while her grandfather – _sofu_ – is whipping his head around, his wand out and ready.

"Get in, get in!" her _sobo_ repeats in accented English, grabbing Astoria's trunk with one arm and gesturing Daphne with the other to get in.

Her _sofu_ is already getting the work on the protection enchantments, putting them back up again. Daphne can't understand the spells, so different from the Latin-based ones she learned in Hogwarts.

Her _sobo_ points down the corridor where their guestrooms are located. "Put your things in your rooms. Dinner is in one hour, if you're hungry."

Judging by Astoria's queasy expression, Daphne assumes she isn't hungry either. "I think we're just tired, _sobo_. We'd like to rest. We've been up for over a day."

"Yes, of course. Get some rest. Tomorrow we see how your Kanto dialect is."

Daphne tries not to wince. Without regular use, she inevitably forgets and confuses the Kanto and Kansai dialects during school and the first week in Japan is always the hardest to transition back. Although, she never understood why her _sofubo_ never came back to Tokyo after Grindelwald was defeated – Kyoto is almost too colorful for them. For her too, really.

Still, she nods. " _Arigatou gozaimasu, sobo_ ," she says, bowing her head.

Her _sobo_ smiles for the first time. " _Douitashimashite. Oyasuminasai_."

" _Oyasuminasai_ ," Daphne repeats. Astoria mouths it, but Daphne doesn't hear the words.

They go to their respective rooms and Daphne sways a little on her feet before sitting on the edge of her bed. Theodore's letter is still resting in her pocket against her heart. She considers waiting until tomorrow to read it, once she's slept and has a better hold on herself, but she reaches into her robe and pulls it out, careful in opening it.

_Daphne,_

_I suppose it doesn't matter whether I'm alive or not when you read this, but regardless, I'm far away enough that I'm relatively safe from whatever your reaction may be._

_My sincerest apologies for the abruptness of this letter. I didn't account for needing to write a farewell letter; there was never supposed to be a person to say goodbye to, but here we are._

_Under my bed you'll find a portion of my library – it's yours, along with earnings that should've been given to you months ago; it was silly having you pay._

_I just have one last request, if it's within your abilities: the Nott home should be destroyed by any means necessary; it's heavily enchanted and shouldn't be found for some time, but I loathe the idea of the Ministry ransacking it. Behind this letter is a rather crude map of the property along with a list of enchantments protecting it. Again, it's not high on my list of priorities, but it's something personal and I don't care for loose ends._

_I'm unsure if thanking you is appropriate or simply ludicrous, but I am grateful for you, of our interactions this past year, as brief as it was, but sometimes the briefest things can be the most beautiful._

_I hope we do see each other in the future, and maybe then, I will have the words or bravery to say more._

_Yours,_  
_Theodore_

She blames the sudden tears on exhaustion. She folds the letter away and hides it under her pillow before passing out in her clothes and shoes.

**

She wakes up slowly and in the same position she fell asleep in. Her body is heavy and her brain is sludge as she takes in her surroundings. For a moment, she thinks it's summer and she'll have to review Japanese phrases in her head before fully waking up and facing the day, but then it hits her that it's too chilly and she didn't take her N.E.W.T.s and –

She sits up suddenly, looking around the room. Her shoes were removed and a blanket thrown on top of her. She thinks it's close to midday, judging that the sun is above her window and not blinding her.

Her parents must have told her _sofubo_ to let Daphne and Astoria sleep in, at least just for today.

She reaches under her pillow for Theodore's letter and reads it again. And again. Her heart stops when she reads the last sentence and she bites her lip when she reads _Yours, Theodore_.

She doesn't know how she feels about this letter. It was difficult reading Theodore on her good days, impossible for the others. She knows that she's probably the closest thing he's ever had to a friend, at least someone he tolerated as an acquaintance since she has a feeling that Malfoy wasn't his favorite person to begin with, even before his becoming a Death Eater.

(She thinks about Theodore's reaction when he mentioned his run in with Malfoy in Diagon Alley and hates the way her stomach flips.)

She stands up and goes to her trunk, grabbing clothes to wear for the day and hiding the letter in a small pocket in her trunk so the house elves won't see it.

She washes up in the bathroom and once she's changed, she goes into her sister's room as quietly as she can.

"Astoria," she says gently, sitting on the edge of her bed and squeezing her shoulder. "It's almost noon."

Astoria groans. "No."

"Yes, come on."

"I don't want to be with them now. I don't want to speak Japanese; I just want to be _home_."

Daphne forces herself to breathe in deeply. "Astoria," she exhales. "We have to make the best of this. Once Mum and Dad are finished, we'll go home and we won't have to see them for another year."

Astoria dramatically pushes her blankets off her and sits up with a tired glare.

"Get dressed and start forgetting the English language."

**

The most important rule in living in the Matsura home is that English is not to be spoken, except in the case of an emergency and on the days of arrival and departure.

It was hard learning a language that was always used in the Greengrass home as a means of keeping Daphne and Astoria uninformed of what was going on.

Still, her mother's parents aren't very sympathetic and are determined not to entirely lose their culture with her and her sister, despite their cousins being fully Japanese. And if there's one thing that's most important to Daphne, it's family, so she accepts the struggles and the condescending corrections with as much grace as she's capable of.

So Daphne enters the living room where her _sofubo_ are currently reading and greets them with a polite, " _Ohayou-gozaimasu_."

**

Communication between her parents and _sofubo_ has always been done through a pair of Vanishing Cabinets that are the size of jewelry boxes, which are more common in Japan than in the UK. Messages are written in kanji.

Daphne checks the box twice a day – once in the morning and once at night for three days until finally, there's one.

Instead of giving it to her _sobo_ or _sofu_ to translate, she skims the characters and stops breathing.

_We're being summoned. Unsure of when we'll be released._

She doesn't hear her _sobo_ coming up behind her and jumps when the message is ripped out of her hands.

After a few moments, her _sobo_ says in the Kansai dialect, " _I see your reading has improved. That's good._ " Pause. " _They will be fine. Sit down for dinner._ "

She nods her head and does as she's told, as she always does.

Astoria, on the other hand, goes through phases in which she'll obey and do her best in following the rules, other times she'll be sullen and refuse to speak or give any indication that she's listening, and rarely, she'll speak English and snap back.

This night, unfortunately, Astoria is inspired to be a rebellious adolescent.

"How can we just _abandon_ Mum and Dad?" Astoria argues.

" _Kono-kade wa eigo o hanasemasen_!" her _sobo_ demands, repeating the most important rule: English is not allowed to be spoken in the Matsura home.

"I don't care!" Astoria raises her voice. She turns to Daphne. "Let's go _home_ – we can't stay here!"

"Astoria," Daphne starts.

"I know _you_ want to be the perfect child _always_ , but are you really going to obey _now_? After everything you did this past year?"

Daphne grits her teeth. " _Sore wa chigatte ita_ –"

"It _wasn't_ different – what, now that you don't have a _boy_ backing you up, you're going to act like a coward?"

" _Hey_ , he wouldn't have a done a _damn thing_ if I hadn't convinced him," Daphne snaps. "Don't talk about what you don't understand –"

" _Kodomo_!" her _sofu_ says in shock.

" _Sumimasen, sofu, sobo_ ," Daphne says, getting up from the table. " _Watashi to kite_ ," she hisses to Astoria before going outside.

She tries to calm down by counting her breaths, but as soon as Astoria joins her and shuts the screen door behind her, Daphne's anger rushes back tenfold. "What is _wrong_ with you?" she hisses. "Mum and Dad want us _here_ – we don't _know_ what the Ministry is going to do to us – you _know_ what they did."

"Don't you think this makes us look _worse_? There's no way they'd do anything to _us_ , we're kids!"

"They don't _trust us_ – they only see Salazar Slytherin's pupils and _nothing else_. We have to wait and see." Daphne crosses her arms. "You're not the only one who left people behind," she adds, quieter.

Astoria sniffs and looks away, her eyes glassy. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just really scared," she says, her voice cracking.

"I know, but Mum and Dad want us here. We just have to lay low. Just focus on studying for your O.W.L.s, alright? I brought all my study materials from my fifth year to help you."

A tear rolls down Astoria's cheek before she wipes her face with the back of her hand. She nods.

"We'll go inside, apologize, and finish dinner. _Quietly_."

Astoria nods again. Daphne goes to lead her back inside the house when Astoria says, "I don't really think you're a coward. You were brave to involve yourself in that."

"It's fine, honestly." She gives Astoria a small smile. "Now, come on. Let's get this over with."

They go inside, give formal apologies, sit back down at the table, and dinner is finished in utter silence.

**

Daphne begins to spend mornings with her _sofu_ , who begins to teach her spells in Japanese – some basic ones, like the equivalents for _Lumos_ and _Accio_ , but also defensive spells to confuse an opponent.

She has lunch with her sister and her _sofu_ and then spends her afternoon helping Astoria with her O.W.L.s – quizzing her on what she knows, and teaching her what she was supposed to learn in the last few weeks of the year. Then for dinner, it's the four of them. After dinner, they will occasionally listen to the radio to hear of any news (there isn't much – Japan doesn't care much beyond the destruction of Voldemort). After that, everyone retires to their bedrooms.

Daphne spends nights studying for her N.E.W.T.s until she can no longer keep her eyes open. Then she crawls into bed and goes to sleep.

She avoids the letter at the bottom of her trunk and doesn't touch Theodore's bag.

**

After two weeks, there is finally a message in the box.

_Kept in Ministry. We're being watched._

The kanji is rushed and difficult to read.

That night, Daphne forgoes studying and borrows the radio in the living room to tune into an English station, hoping for news.

The Malfoys have been cleared of all charges, due to aiding Harry Potter multiple times over the past year. A dozen Death Eaters are awaiting trial in Azkaban – sans dementors now. Death Eater _sympathizers_ are being assessed and will be on watch.

Missing people include the current owner of Borgin and Burkes, _Daphne and Astoria Greengrass_ (hearing their names makes her shudder), all of the Zabini family, and Theodore Nott.

She shuts off the radio and the silence is stifling. After a minute, she opens her trunk and pulls out Theodore's bag, taking out each book one by one, inspecting them for any damage. Thankfully, everyone seemed to have taken their threats seriously and there are no marks and folds in the pages. She saves the ones she hasn't gotten to read in one pile. Inside a pocket, there is a small bag, which she charms into its normal size and she's surprised at its weight.

"You liar," she exhales, in shock of how much money he gave her. This is _way_ more than what she earned.

She puts the money back in his bag and without realizing it until it's too late, she's running her hand over the smooth leather. She removes it at once, as if it burned her.

No, she will not act like this, whatever _this_ is.

She puts the read books away, the to-read books on her nightstand, and tries to go to sleep; however, she utterly fails for over an hour.

**

The weather gets warmer. Daphne's Japanese improves – she has some dreams in Japanese, actually. She thinks Astoria will get mostly Os on her O.W.L.s. There have been only two more short messages from her parents, but they're home. The Ministry raids their home at least twice in the last month. They broke her mum's antique tea set each time.

In a rare, honest moment late at night when Daphne can't sleep, she finds her _sofu_ sipping sake outside. She quietly opens the screen door and sits down next to him.

They sit together silently. He wordlessly transforms a rock into a cup and pours her sake. She takes a delicate sip and does her best not to wince.

"I think with a little more studying and practice," he starts to say in English, which shocks her, "I think you'll be close to fluent." He takes a sip.

She takes another sip, unsure if this is permission to speak English. Taking a risk, she responds with, "Thank you."

"Perhaps we can arrange employment for you. You can flourish here," he continues like she never spoke. "Besides, you were born here."

Yes, she was born here, but she and her parents moved to England soon after – it barely counts. " _Sofu_ …" she starts.

"Things are changing, Daphne," he says as he looks forward. "Home won't be the same."

"Home was never perfect, _sofu_ ," she counters. "I can handle what's waiting for me."

"I know you can, but that doesn't mean you should tolerate it. You're better than them."

She's seen that look on Theodore's face before – that understated, enraged expression on her behalf. It made her heart feel light in her chest, but now her throat is tight and her head aches with all the compartmentalizing she has to do in order to wake up and go about her days in this strange limbo.

"The British Ministry of Magic has fined your parents. There isn't much left," her _sofu_ warns her. "They'll want to question you, now that you're of age."

Daphne nods, finishing off the rest of her sake. She doesn't know how he knows this before her.

"You'll be marked."

"I'm already marked," she says flatly, looking to him. "I'm not white."

His mouth twists into a grimace. "You are here."

She bites her tongue and pours herself another cup, throwing it back like firewhiskey. Being a half-blood doesn't mean anything in England, unlike being a Muggleborn. In Japan, however, the term for ‘half-blood’ is worse than England’s 'Mudblood.' Japan’s derogatory term for half-blood that goes beyond magic abilities. It doesn't matter that her mum is considered pureblood in Japan and her father is considered pureblood in England – Daphne and Astoria are considered impure both in Japan and within English pureblood families.

(Although Daphne can't deny that Astoria can believably pass as an Anglo-Saxon while Daphne is too easy to determine.)

"I need to see for myself."

He nods, pouring himself more sake. "Astoria will go back to England by the end of the week. You'll remain here a little while longer."

It's not like Daphne expected much from her grandfather, but somehow, she expected more than this " _Hai, sofu. Watashi wa tsukaremashita. Oyasuminasai_." She leaves the cup by her _sofu_ and walks back inside.

(Even though her bedroom is not close to her _sofubo_ or Astoria, she still bites the corner of the pillow in case she can't hold back her desire to _scream_.)

**

Her _sofu_ is right – four days after that night, her parents send word that Astoria can come back and take her O.W.L.s and be allowed to return to Hogwarts for her sixth year.

They're still trying to convince the Ministry that Daphne shouldn't be tried, but she doubts they'll succeed.

Astoria hugs her so tightly that she almost can't breathe. "I'll go to the Ministry myself and demand they let you come home."

Daphne smiles and kisses the top of her head. "Remember to take deep breaths before your spell work. Read slowly, you have plenty of time."

Astoria inhales shakily. "I will."

Daphne lets go and takes a step away. "Give my love to Mum and Dad."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

And Daphne is left alone.

**

To fill the void of time in which she helped her sister, she spends time in Kyoto. She tries different ways of altering her appearances, never the same person. She sits in shops and drinks tea alone, reads books in gardens, and visits Buddhist temples.

For all intents and purposes, she passes as a Muggle.

She never spent a lot of time in the Muggle world. Never cared to – she doesn't have a high opinion of them. But there's something to be said about the simplicity of the world. How people seem to find magic in the most mundane things.

Utterly fascinating.

At the same time, it's rather nice, to be away from her world temporarily.

It starts to rain a few hours into her afternoon and everyone is rushing to awnings and struggling to open umbrellas. She is sipping her _mugi-cha_ (barley tea) in peace, watching everything go by through the window. The rain reminds her of London, although she couldn't get this good of tea back home – the English are ghastly with their black tea and adding cream and sugar. Besides, England doesn't have _mugi-cha_ and _ama-cha_ (hydrangea tea).

Once she's finished her tea, she goes to leave, planning a way to spell her umbrella into its original size once she's outside, but a boy about her age who is also preparing for the rain offers to walk her under his umbrella.

He figures out right away that she's not from Japan, but he compliments her pronunciations and her vocabulary. He speaks in English and she returns the compliment.

He smiles a lot and it's nice, but she loses any joy she felt in the beginning; she never understood people who express happiness and joy so easily and give it freely.

She lets him drop her off at a bus stop as a means of losing him. He asks for her number and she says she'll be heading back to England in a few days and she wishes him well.

Once he's out of sight, she steps into the rain and walks to find an empty alley to Disapparate. She may have started crying at one point, but she can't tell the difference.

**

Days blend together in a way she's utterly unused to experiencing.

**

It's a particularly humid day when she's informed by her _sofubo_ that her parents wrote a letter for her.

It's not very long, but they say that Astoria took her O.W.L.s and got Os in five of her nine exams, the rest she received Es. She'll have the same classes that Daphne did in sixth year. They also tell her that she has to be evaluated by the Ministry before taking her N.E.W.T.s. They would have fought more, bribed, but they paid most of what they had – further restitution – to protect Astoria from being questioned.

She misses England. She wishes she had the opportunity to really say goodbye to Hogwarts. She's hand a couple of dreams with Theodore in them, but she can never place where they are.

(When she was in Tokyo, she kept an eye out, hoping to see him in the crowd – maybe, he could've decided to come to Japan, maybe –)

"We'll help you if you go back to England," her _sobo_ says in English during dinner. "But know you're welcome here."

Daphne bites her inner cheek and nods, taking a long drink of her green tea until her eyes stop stinging.

"I need to go back," she says.

They nod in unison, which makes Daphne smile a little.

"We'll speak with your parents tomorrow," her _sobo_ says and the matter is settled.

**

Daphne packs most of her things. The Ministry is still coming frequently to their home and she doesn't want them searching through any of her things, so she leaves Theodore's bag under her bed along with the money he left her and his letter. She wants to keep the letter with her, but she's practical and knows it's an unnecessary risk; she should've burnt it after reading it, but all she can think is that it's proof this past year wasn't something that happened in her head.

Besides, she can always shut her eyes and picture it clearly. She imagines his home, building it in her mind from the ground-up, but it's difficult. She was always told that she was a mystery to people, but she thinks she's an open book in comparison to Theodore Nott.

She reads the letter one more time before hiding it away.

**

Before she leaves, her _sobo_ gives her a vial. "You don't need much, just a few drops. You're strong, but this will help against…what do you call it in England… _shinjitsu_ …that is, if they use it."

"Veritaserum, _sobo_." Daphne grips the vial tightly in her hand before pocketing it.

Her _sobo_ nods and Daphne brings her into a hug. 

"Thank you, Grandma."

She's surprised when her _sobo_ returns the hug fiercely.

She kisses her _sofu_ on the cheek before he lowers the protection barriers. She waves farewell before gripping the Portkey.

When she arrives in London, she's immediately enveloped in Astoria's arms. She speaks quickly, trying to catch her up on her life and what's been happening in England.

Daphne does her best to listen, but she's distracted by the shadows under her parents' eyes. The guilt.

She knows that they'll tell her that they're using Daphne's savings for necessities, potentially stocking up because they're sure they'll come down on Daphne, take everything that she has.

Daphne is not ignorant or stupid – she knew the risks her parents made by being sympathizers, by donating money. Her mother probably looked in the mirror and worried that there will come a point that You-Know-Who will see her and the family as Other and worth enslaving like everyone else.

Maybe they should've had more faith, but what's done is done.

**

Daphne dresses conservatively, similarly to her Hogwarts uniform with a collared shirt and skirt that brushes her knees. She slips on heels, eats a slice a plain toast before drinking a quarter of the vial of Veritaserum antidote, just in case.

The Greengrass' don't live very far from central London, so she walks to the visitors' entrance. She only hesitates for a moment before dialing the correct numbers.

Daphne hasn't been to the Ministry a lot as a child – maybe once or twice – but she walks with confidence to the far end of the Atrium where the security desk is located. The man behind the desk puts down his _Daily Prophet_ and eyes her, lingering on her badge with her name on it for too long.

"Step to the side, Miss," he says.

She forces herself to stand still and be scanned by that ridiculous golden rod that she wishes she could stab his foot with. Once that's finished, she clenches her jaw tightly when she hands over her wand to be searched. 

Once parchment comes out of her wand, Daphne glances past the security desk and sees a man and a woman in Auror garb walking directly toward her with grim expressions.

He questions her wand's properties, which she confirms, and she's about to take her wand back when the Aurors are close enough for the man to say, "I'll be holding on to that, Eric, thank you."

He takes her wand and she feels a visceral desire to attack.

"Miss Greengrass, follow us," the woman demands.

She's escorted through the Ministry, passersby staring at her, whispering. She keeps looking ahead and begs herself not to feel shame.

"I'll be taking this to Auror Headquarters," the man says, holding up Daphne's wand.

Daphne curls her hands into fists. She's grateful she cut her nails last night to avoid reopening her scars.

They're the only ones in the lift as they sink down to the Department of Mysteries. Her parents had warned her that they'd be using the old courtrooms from the first war, to be prepared.

Her heart jumps to her throat when she's led inside the courtroom, which looks more like a dungeon with its low lighting and visible chains.

She avoids looking up at the Wizengamot as she slowly sits down on the lone chair in the room. She jumps when the chains spring to life and bind her arms and legs.

"That isn't necessary," she hears the new Minister for Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt state to the Wizengamot.

"She's a flight risk – it was almost unanimous."

"Where is she going to go? This courtroom is enchanted and she's without a wand."

"She has also had a history of instances of wandless magic –"

"Outbursts that all children have –" Shacklebolt argues.

"Excuse me, but if these chains are a means of appeasing the Wizengamot then I won't object," Daphne interrupts, keeping her voice steady. "I'm ready, Minister."

"…Alright. Let's begin."

**

Her name, her home address, her family members are questioned and confirmed.

_Were you aware of your parents' contributions?_

"At sixteen I assumed. They never directly informed me."

_Did you try to convince your parents to stop?_

"I was not of age and it wasn't – _isn't_ – my place to question my parents and the steps they take to protect my family."

_Do you believe giving money to You-Know-Who's cause protected your family?_

"Yes."

_But you come from an old family – surely your family would not be touched?_

"We are not on the same level of purity as the Malfoy family is."

_Did you want to inform the Ministry of your parents' illegal activities?_

"You-Know-Who had eyes and ears in the Ministry long before Dumbledore was killed. It wouldn't have been wise. Whom was I going to trust with such knowledge?"

Questions continue in this vein in the first hour.

**

Halfway through the second hour, a witness is called into the courtroom.

Daphne can barely mask her shock when Neville Longbottom strolls in with almost unrecognizable confidence. Sure, during their last year at school, she knows he came far from the stuttering boy he was, but she supposes anyone is susceptible to an ego boost after so much praise.

"Can we get a seat for…Mr. Longbottom?" Shacklebolt asks with a minor stutter. She's very sure he's used to calling Longbottom by his first name in private.

There's the scurrying of steps and a man comes into view with a chair in his hand, rushing over to place it a few feet away from Daphne's right.

"Thank you," Longbottom says, taking a seat.

He's asked about what she was like in school, whom she interacted with, was she ever cruel. She's surprised that he noticed her at all beyond their brief interactions in the past year. He paints her as a reserved person with a clear sense of her own morals and standards. He talks about her loyalty to protect Astoria. Her defiance during a Dark Arts class.

"Does the accused bear a scar from the use of a Black Quill?"

"No. I healed it," Daphne lies. "It read, 'I will obey orders.' I'm sure Amycus Carrow would be pleased to confirm this."

"We'll have to confirm."

It goes on and on. Daphne is worried with every question, Longbottom will bring up Theodore somehow, but he never does. She shouldn't be so shocked – Theodore has a way of removing himself from all narratives. Or maybe he just has a way of inspiring people who get a glimpse of who he really is to keep it secret from those who aren't worthy.

"That will be all, I believe. Thank you, Mr. Longbottom. You may see yourself out."

Longbottom looks at Daphne and tries to give her a reassuring smile, but he's still rather nervous after the non-stop questions and she doesn't blame him. She gives him a brief smile of thanks.

She's alone again.

**

At one point, she's asked if she knows the whereabouts of some of her peers.

"No, I have no idea as to where Theodore Nott is," she states firmly.

A truth that is so ugly to her she can't linger on it.

**

"Those in favor of clearing the accused of all charges?" the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement asks, her voice echoing.

Hands are raised, including the Minister for Magic. She tries to count, but her racing heart is disrupting her thought processes and before she can finish, the Head asks, "And those in favor of conviction?"

It looks about the same, but judging by Shacklebolt's grim expression, she knows the verdict before he announces it.

**

There's a fine, a large one. She must report weekly to the Ministry for the next two months, then once a month until February. She's permitted to take her N.E.W.T.s starting next week, the first week of August. A schedule will be mailed to her in a few days. She will be escorted to the Auror Department to retrieve her wand.

She is not to leave England.

The chains fall away, but she remains sitting until she feels she can stand.

She takes a deep breath through her nose, forcing to keep her eyes open. She doesn't react when Shacklebolt walks directly toward her. Other members of the Wizengamot slow their exit out of the courtroom to stare, but they're ushered out so it's eventually just the two of them.

"I'm sorry, Miss Greengrass," he says. "I'm doing my best to change things, but as you can imagine, a lot of families want to lash out."

She searches for something to say, like, _yes_ , the deaths and the fear and everything else was traumatic, she understands, and she only suffered a fraction, or, _why must she carry the sins of her parents_? But she's tired and humiliated and she thinks if she speaks her feelings, she'll somehow set fire to everything in this room.

"I'm afraid, Minister, I have nothing to say that's conducive to a civil conversation. I bid you good day."

She briskly walks out of the courtroom, almost running into Longbottom.

His face carries a sad expression. "I'm going to escort you to the Auror Department."

She doesn't say anything.

They only walk down a single corridor before Longbottom says, "I'm so sorry. I really thought I'd be able to help. I'll talk to them and see about a re-trial or something because you don't deserve this, you didn't do anything –"

"Neville," Daphne says, immediately silencing him. "Thank you."

He opens and closes his mouth for a few moments before smiling.

The walk to the lift is blissfully quiet. They get off at level two, walking through corridors and a pair of doors. There are photographs everywhere – missing Death Eaters and presumably victims. Her chest freezes when she spots a few drawings of Theodore.

Neville follows her gaze on one by the window. "You really have no idea where he is?" he asks quietly.

She's clenched her jaw and her throat is sealed shut. She shakes her head once.

Neville reaches out a hand, maybe to pat her arm or shoulder, but he pulls back immediately, as if he received a shock. "Let me see about getting your wand back," he mutters, leaving her alone.

She has to stop; she needs to calm down. She looks around her and focuses on a table to her far left that is stacked with books and loose parchments and a spinning globe. She has to plan – what will she do in her free time? Maybe there's a way to possibly work from England, maybe her grandparents have a way to help her get out, maybe –

"No, I'm _leaving_ , I deserve a break," a familiar voice laughs from around the corner.

Harry Potter.

He does a double take when he sees her. He probably can't remember her name, so he just nods in greeting before leaving.

The spinning globe on the table cracks from the North Pole to where the Norwegian Sea meets the North Atlantic Ocean.

"Got it," Neville says, a little out of breath. "Sorry, I guess they were translating spells – that's brilliant, that you can do spells in another language." He hands her back her wand.

She waits an obvious moment before taking it back, quickly putting it away.

"I'll walk you out," he offers.

She takes a final look at the picture of Theodore – it's clearly based off of photographs of his father, maybe influenced by other people's descriptions of him.

"They didn't get him right," Daphne says while they're walking out of the room.

"I know," he simply answers, the doors shutting behind them.

**

They stop in front of the fireplaces, Neville gnawing on his bottom lip.

"It was nice to see you. And I swear that I'll talk to everyone I can about lessening your sentence because this isn't fair at all. You did a lot for Hogwarts – it may not have been obvious like the DA, but it was something important."

Against her will and against her sanity, she's touched. She takes a step toward him and says in a quiet voice, "Potter will always overshadow you, but know he doesn't for me."

His eyes are suddenly glassy and she's embarrassed for him, but he doesn't seem to care. "Thanks. I – thank you," he says in a hearty voice.

She briefly touches his elbow. "Take care."

"You too. And, uh," he lowers his voice to a near whisper. "I'll…keep an ear out. About Nott."

"That's kind of you," she says, even though she doubts that anyone in the Ministry will be able to find him. "Goodbye, Neville."

He raises a hand awkwardly. "Bye, uh, –"

"Daphne is fine." She gives him one last smile before walking toward the closest fireplace, a handful of Floo powder, and stepping inside.

**

Her family greets her immediately once she steps out of the fireplace. She explains the verdict calmly and hates how her mother's eyes are misty – she's never seen her cry, not once.

"I'll talk to my parents," her mother says, already walking away.

"For our next check in we'll talk to them," her father promises.

"They're brainless twats," Astoria snaps as she furiously packs her trunk for Hogwarts. "We didn't do _anything wrong_ – we didn't _choose_ to be born into one of the pureblood families, we don't _control_ our parents, _why_ are we being punished? It's not like _we_ hunted down Muggleborns and the like – we don't _care_ what they do or don't do, it makes no bloody difference, and they all decide to _hate us_?"

Daphne is glad she no longer feels the dark rage that was stirring inside her – it reminded her too much of being a child and lashing out by breaking vases and setting curtains on fire. That's not her – she's better and more in control over herself, now especially that she's eighteen.

"Let them hate us," Daphne says, going over to Astoria. "If they don't care to distinguish us from real evil, that's their prerogative. We know they're wrong and we're better than that. Right?"

Astoria huffs, but ultimately, she nods. "I won't let anyone say anything bad."

Daphne smiles. "Just do your best and focus on school. Their opinions and thoughts don't matter."

Astoria nods again. "I'll write every week."

"And do your best to limit spending. We're almost primarily relying on _sofu_ and _sobo_. We don't want to be difficult."

Astoria scowls a little. "That's embarrassing."

"Not exactly since most of our peers have been fined in one way or another," Daphne answers sharply.

"You can be angry, you know, you can stop pretending like you're a parent."

"No, I can't be angry, it's not productive."

It's something Theodore had said after his fourth week of detentions in the beginning of spring term.

Astoria furrows her brow. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"There's no point in throwing a fit about the injustice and unfairness of it all. What's done is done. This is their way of striking a _balance_. Soon enough, we'll reach an equilibrium where Muggleborns and purebloods alike can exist without such antagonism. But for now, we get through this with grace and dignity because that's how we were raised. Besides, I think we can handle this over what some of these people have gone through."

Astoria's scowl returns and she seems ready to say something, to argue back, but all she does is demand for her to leave. "I have to finish packing."

Daphne leaves her alone for the night.

**

Daphne and her parents accompany Astoria to Kings Cross Station. They naturally get some looks, given that all of them save for Astoria have been written up in the _Daily Prophet_ , but her parents are pillars of strength as they see Astoria off.

She mimics them as best she can, not hugging Astoria for too long and kissing her cheek, waving with a smile on her face. 

But when she gets home and enters her bedroom, her water glass shatters, water soaking her pillow and nightstand. Her breath shatters in her chest and she slams the door behind her.

**

Astoria got to take her O.W.L.s at Hogwarts over the summer. Daphne has to take them in the Ministry. Headmistress McGonagall has organized it like the way it would be done at Hogwarts: the written and practical exams for each subject are on the same day. She'll be provided lunch, which she thinks is rather nice.

Her first N.E.W.T. exam is for Charms, which goes by smoothly and she finishes with extra time. Her examiner, Professor Tofty, who was her examiner for her Defense Against the Dark Arts and Arithmancy and Herbology O.W.L.s, collects her parchments without a word and tells her to return in two hours for her practical exam. She can't read his expression.

Daphne steps outside for lunch at a Muggle café, reading a Japanese text to keep her mind sharp until her practical exam, which she finds incredibly easy.

The next day, Herbology is the mostly the same with Professor Tofty again. She's impressed with the way they transformed the empty room into a greenhouse.

Transfiguration is next and Professor Marchbanks is her examiner. Both exams go by smoothly.

Professor Marchbanks again for Potions. Then, Professor Tofty for Ancient Runes and Arithmancy, which she takes in the morning and afternoon respectively. Professor Marchbanks oversees her Alchemy exams and finally, on the last day, Professor Tofty oversees her Defense Against the Dark Arts exams.

Daphne returns to the Ministry, relieved and pleased that she's almost done. She's certain she has earned Os on most if not all her subjects. In fact, she's happy enough to even greet Professor Tofty with a smile.

"Yes, you're close to finishing. You must be relieved," Professor Tofty says.

"It's been a long few days," Daphne agrees, taking out her wand. "Which spell should I perform first?"

"Before we begin, I would like to tell you something."

She looks at him quizzically.

"I've lost…a number of people over the years. During the first war, I lost colleagues, friends, two cousins. And this past war, I've lost more colleagues and friends. I've been following what the Ministry has been doing in terms of persecuting the people who helped foster such death and terror."

She clasps her hands in front of her to prevent them from shaking.

"I read about your case. Myself and Professor Marchbanks, of course."

"Of course," Daphne repeats quietly.

"We won't be failing you, if that's what you're not concerned about. We are able to separate your actions with your school work."

"Excuse me, but –"

"But I'd like for you to keep in mind that we do, in fact, have this power and we have considered it. We thought about letting you go through your exams and before letting you go on your last one, informing you that we have failed you on enough subjects for you that finding a job would be nearly impossible. But we consider ourselves better than what old, pureblood families have done to get ahead. You'll have to work just as hard as everyone else now."

Daphne feels empty, like something has imploded and left a void. But it doesn't take long to find her voice. "Which spell should I perform first?"

She excels every spell. When she's asked to perform a Patronus Charm, she produces her first corporeal Patronus – she remembers Theodore smiling during their walk in the snow – and it's a raven. How fitting – for both of them, really. She won't think about it any longer.

Once the exam is complete, Daphne says, "Since you can separate your personal feelings from your grading so well, I should let you know that I will, in fact, be writing to Headmistress McGonagall regarding what you told me. She won't take too kindly, I think," with a perfect coolness.

So that's what she does as soon as she arrives at home: she writes a brief letter to McGonagall requesting a meeting with her regarding her N.E.W.T.s, sure that she'll be able to meet with her sometime in September. Except after two weeks, she receives an even shorter response, which reads that she has no time in the immediate future to meet with her regarding the subject, but has discussed the matter with Marchbanks and Tofty, who are to send written apology letters to her.

When the letters arrive in the post, as soon as she unties them from her owl and holds them in her hands, they catch on fire.

**

She spends most of her time exploring London as a Muggle. When she's not doing that, she's studying Japanese spells and potions. She receives textbooks through the post from her _sofubo_ that children from Mahoutokoro are required to study.

She keeps her mind busy until her eyes can't stand staying open anymore.

Her parents try to find work, but they have a hard time. Daphne overhears conversations, about moving back to Japan. Her father is arguing against it less and less.

Eventually, at the end of September, she receives her N.E.W.T.s results – all Os, save for an E in Arithmancy.

That night, she begins searching for jobs in the _Daily Prophet_.

(Once upon a time, she thought she’d end up in the Department of International Magical Cooperation, perhaps one day making her way to the International Confederation of Wizards, but now it just seems like an impossible daydream.)

**

Days go by, weeks go by – a month, two months.

It's now December and she's heard _nothing_ beyond one letter:

_We're sorry, Miss Greengrass, you're not what we're looking for._

**

Although, eventually, she does get asked to interview, except she was left waiting for two hours and the interview barely lasted five minutes.

She would've preferred nothing.

**

Daphne has finished her final check-in before the holidays when she sees Blaise Zabini.

"Daphne," he says, visibly surprised.

She's not quite sure when they became familiar enough to use first names. "Blaise," she greets him carefully. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, it is. Are you alright?"

"Yes," she lies. "And yourself?"

"As well as you can be. Are you…in a rush right now? I would love to talk with someone who doesn't find me suspicious."

"Um, sure. There's a wine bar three streets north – it has a lit wreath on the door."

"A Muggle bar?" he clarifies with a raised eyebrow.

"I thought you said you didn't want suspicious gazes?"

He smiles a little. "Fair. Alright, I'll meet you there in twenty minutes?"

"See you then. Good luck."

He nods and walks into the Auror Department. Daphne takes her time walking to the bar, wondering if she was getting his hopes up by agreeing. But it's been months, she hopes he's realized that nothing will ever happen and that his try-hard pretentiousness is grating.

She grabs a table by the window. She orders a glass of Malbec and waits for him to arrive.

As promised, he arrives twenty minutes after they parted.

"Thank you for waiting," Zabini says after shrugging off his coat and taking a seat across from her.

"Of course. How did you check-in go?" she asks out of politeness more than interest.

"Fine – they just asked the usual questions. Asked about my spending, where I went. But it was my last one, so I'm happy it's over."

"Congratulations."

"When are you done with them?"

"February."

He winces. "I'm sorry."

She shrugs, bringing the glass to her mouth.

The waitress comes by the table during the lull in conversation. "Excuse me, would you like to order something to drink?"

"I'll have whatever the lady is having," Zabini answers in a way that immediately charms the waitress.

Daphne hides her amused smile by taking another sip of wine.

"So," Zabini starts once the waitress steps away. "Where have you been over the last few months?"

"With extended family," she answers vaguely.

"In Asia?"

It's a sharp flash of annoyance that he doesn't seem to even remember the damn _country_ , but she truly doesn't care. She'll make him pay for her drink and she'll be on her way. "Yes." She moves the glass in a circle, watching the wine swish in the glass. "And have you remained at home?"

"No, I've been going back and forth to Ireland. My grandmum was sick – she passed away a month ago."

"I'm sorry."

He nods. The waitress returns with his glass of wine. He takes a long first sip. "So I take it you haven't seen any of our former housemates?"

She shakes her head.

"I've only seen Parkinson from a distance. She seemed to have lost her smugness."

"Loathe her."

Zabini laughs a little. "That's obvious to anyone who looked at you when she opened her mouth. She's dreadful. But it seems Malfoy has dumped her for good."

"Maybe he'll develop better taste."

"Maybe."

They drink in silence.

"So, I take it you haven't heard from Nott?" Zabini asks, forcing a casual tone.

"No, I haven't."

He wets his bottom lip with his tongue and she wonders what he's debating on saying. "You fancy him," he surmises.

She takes a sip of wine for perhaps a little too long. "It's rude to make assumptions."

He snorts. "Please. Has anyone ever told you that your eyes give you away?"

She narrows her eyes. "Jealousy isn't flattering on anyone. I wouldn't want you to continue your assuming that I didn't know your feelings about me. Did you think that just because we were the only two people with parents outside of the twenty-eight families, we would somehow make a perfect match?"

He has the decency to flush in embarrassment, taking a long drink of wine. "I forgot the thorns that come with your petals." She's about to say something, but he continues, "To be honest, I really gave up almost a year ago. I noticed the way Nott looked at you."

She furrows her brow. "How did he look at me?"

"In a way that he did with no one else. Like you were worth something."

It's nice that she didn't make it up, but she knows that's not totally correct – Theodore had respect for most of their professors. She would glance at him during the classes that were taught by McGonagall and Flitwick and there was a lightness and openness in his eyes that weren't seen outside of the classroom.

"Well, I suppose I was. Our enterprise was quite successful and we made a small fortune."

" I read about Longbottom claiming credit for that," Zabini says bitterly. "I'm grateful he acknowledged you, at least."

"You know Th – Nott wouldn't have wanted credit for that."

"Well, if he didn't, then Lovegood seems to be doing a good job of ignoring his wishes."

"Pardon me?"

"I just heard her in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. She was trying to talk to convince someone to take down the drawings of Nott, but they weren't buying it."

"No one takes her seriously except Potter," Daphne says.

Theodore must, on some level, but what she doesn't really understand is _why_.

"Well, Potter only seems capable of seeing Malfoy as someone worth giving a chance, so I'm sure it'll fall on deaf ears."

Daphne finishes her glass of wine. "I need to head home," she tells him.

He clearly takes it as a rejection. "Alright."

"Happy Christmas."

"You too."

She leaves him in the bar. Even though her stomach is warm with wine, the cold is bone deep and she shudders as she turns the corner.

**

Later that night, she stares at the bookmark that Theodore had gave her for Christmas last year. She always did think it was a bit of an odd gift. A nice one, yes, but she felt something when she first touched it that she didn't expect. She hasn't been able to put her finger on it and every time she holds it, she hopes it'll come to her.

She puts the bookmark back in her current text and shuts her eyes, picturing the map of his home. She has been thinking about how to fulfill his wish, but she's debating on when to do it – before her last check-in with the Ministry and risk possible exposure? Or to do it afterwards, right before she runs to Japan? She's leaning towards the former, doing it a week or so before and then she will be cleared to leave the country, at least for a few months.

She thinks she's had enough of being here.

**

For the first time ever, her _sofubo_ come to England for Christmas. Daphne half-stutters while speaking with them, starting in Japanese before switching to English. She can tell this pleases her _sobo_ a lot.

It's a quiet holiday – it usually is. There aren't many cousins to celebrate with – her mother's brother and his family had stopped speaking to her mother the moment she announced her marriage to an Englishman.

Still, sometimes Daphne wishes she were like her peers outside of Slytherin, who excitedly talked about their holidays with large families. But pureblood families are always small and are usually quiet affairs. 

Her mother makes a traditional English dinner, which her _sobo_ picks at and her _sofu_ enjoys. Astoria is distracted and everyone else is solemn.

The new normal.

**

New Year's Eve comes and goes. She hopes this year will be better than the last, but she highly doubts it.

**

In the middle of January, she arrives at the Ministry for her second-to-last check-in. She thinks even the Auror she meets with believes this is pointless.

But while Daphne is on her way out of the Ministry, she spots her close friend Tracy Davis walking with her Ravenclaw boyfriend Parrish.

"Tracy," Daphne calls out, loud enough to be heard over the bustle. Tracy looks over and Daphne gives her a smile, but can read Tracy's surprise and hesitance all too clearly. Instead of going on her way like she should, she heads over to her.

"Hi, Tracy. Parrish," Daphne greets them.

"Oh, hi, Daphne! It's been a long time," Tracy greets with only a slight stutter.

Daphne _hates_ the way Parrish is eyeing her suspiciously. What does Parrish know of Daphne? She was the one who sat through a night of Tracy crying when she thought Parrish had snogged some random Hufflepuff girl a few days before Parrish clarified the situation and asked her out to Hogsmeade.

"It has," Daphne agrees, even though it's been eight months and not eight years. "I wonder if you have a moment?"

Tracy's eyes flick around, but no one is paying attention to them. "Sure, I just grabbed lunch with Ben and was about to head out."

"Grand."

Tracy turns to Parrish, whose mouth is pursed in disapproval. "I'll see you when you get home." She kisses him briefly on the mouth. "I love you."

"Love you too." He glances at Daphne once more before walking away.

" _Bakayarou_ ," Daphne mutters under her breath.

"Pardon?"

"Oh, I just remembered that I'm due home soon. We'll just have to walk each other out," Daphne says with a polite smile.

They begin their walk through the Ministry and it's painfully awkward. 

"So, how have you been, Tracy? Are you working?" Daphne inquires.

"I'm interning at the _Daily Prophet_. Horrible hours – I have today off."

"Congratulations. Are you enjoying it?"

"I am, very much." There's a pause. Daphne wonders if she'll ask her what's new in her life when half of it has already been published in the _Daily Prophet_. "And where did you go – after the Battle? I looked for you afterwards."

"Off the record?" Daphne inquires with a raised eyebrow.

She purses her mouth. "Of course. We were good friends."

"China," Daphne lies easily. "And I suppose you're already well-aware of what's happened since I came back."

"Yes."

"You know I did nothing."

"Of course."

Daphne holds out her arm to stop Tracy. "I thought we were the only ones capable in seeing things in shades of grey," she reminds her. Tracy wore green and silver just like the rest of them.

"Now isn't the time to be generous, Daphne. I'm trying to get by – I don't need other people thinking I'm consorting," Tracy hisses.

"Right, because _I'm_ an enemy," Daphne says in disbelief. "You trusted me with _everything_."

"Yeah, and what did you give me? _Nothing_ – you barely even talked to me about your book lending system that you were running with _Nott_ that Longbottom is claiming credit for. What was _that_ all about?"

"Why, you want a scoop for the _Daily Prophet_ so you can be hired as a full-time writer? My life will not be _fodder_ to bolster yours."

"Well, I don't see you doing anything _worthy_ with your life – coming back from another check-in with the Ministry to make sure you're not a menace? How's that going? I'm sure you're also getting _plenty_ of job offers too with that nice record of yours," Tracy snaps.

Daphne exhales sharply through her nose. "Thank you for erasing any guilt I had for leaving England without a word. Now I only wish I could get back that time I lost thinking on it. Take care, Davis." Daphne doesn't wait for a response and leaves the Ministry.

Her parents are reading silently in the living room when Daphne says, "I've thought about it and I would like to return to Japan after my last check-in."

Her father frowns, but her mother says, "If you do, I can't tell you when we'll have the funds to bring you back."

"That's not a problem."

"Did something happen at the Ministry?" her father asks, brow furrowed.

"Nothing important."

She's just grateful that she doesn't get tears in her eyes until she's sitting alone in her room.

**

She also makes another decision that day – she'll take the risk and fulfill Theodore's request before her last check-in. She needs something to keep her busy. She also needs to put thoughts of him to rest – there's no benefit to it when it's obvious that he doesn't plan on coming back any time soon, or at all.

She refuses to let that upset her.

**

There are a lot of steps to take in order to reach Nott's home, but it all disappears from her mind as she stands before it, unable to shake off its imposing nature.

She takes a loud breath and forces herself to move forward. She thinks she's brought enough supplies to destroy everything, but she still keeps coming back to the singular doubt of _what if it isn't_.

Once she reaches the last step, the door opens before her.

Theodore did not say that would happen – in fact, he gave a specific list of instructions in order to open it. She considers taking out her wand, but she doesn't feel…unsafe.

Against her better judgment (where is the security, how is it _this easy_ ), she walks inside.

Everything is ornate and grand, but very cold, much like the Malfoy Manor. She shuts her eyes, trying to find that faint trace of magic that lured her in.

It's a whisper, but its direction is clear. She follows it during a winding set of corridors. There are very few photographs and paintings of family on the walls. It's almost so generic it could be any rich wizard's home.

The magic is stronger the further she goes and eventually, there's a shut door, barely containing it.

She thinks of the bookmark and realizes with heartbreaking clarity what this room must be.

"Oh, Theodore," she sighs out loud.

The door opens.

She's numb when she steps inside, her eyes following around the bookcases that start at the ground and go high, past where the ceiling should be, until she can't distinguish books from shelves. Books float through the air, re-shelving themselves to new places.

She senses Theodore, but also something else, something warmer and so loving, it brings tears to her eyes.

She feels outside of herself as she rips her school bag out of her bottomless purse, already directing books off the shelves and into her bag before she can whip out her wand. She's desperate to fit as many as she can and leaves the books to file in the bag while she runs out of the room, through all the corridors and eventually up a set of stairs, somehow finding Theodore's room, the door swinging open for her.

It's as orderly as she expected it to be, but she doesn't take care in shutting drawers or putting things back in their place. She picks up random books he may want to keep and she finds photographs of when he was a child with his mother, who vaguely looks like Lovegood in a way that makes absolute sense.

She runs back to see that there are now large empty spots on the shelves and nothing else can fit. She tests picking it up, but finds it almost impossible – there's no way she can Apparate with it. She drags it out of his home, sweating by the time it's a safe distance away. She runs back inside, her breath rattling in her chest as she summons the tank of _gasoline_ she purchased, which is absolutely foul smelling. She dumps it as she walks, but after emptying the first tank, she notices that the gasoline is moving on its own like a bubbling stream.

She runs up the stairs again, spilling gasoline, and when she walks past a window to the back of the property, she sees a frozen lake and in a flash, she can see Theodore and his mother skating.

Once she's finished, she runs back down, pausing in the entryway. She knows this is what he wanted, but she can't fight back tears at the loss of his home. It takes her a few matches until she lights one properly, she doesn't know how Muggles risk burning themselves every time they want to light a damn fire.

She flicks the match into the foyer and steps away, watching everything catch fire. Despite the lengths she made to not use any sort of magic, she's still surprised at the way the flame travels through the corridors and up the stairs. 

A _thank you_ echoes in her mind as she fumbles with her Portkey with a gloved hand while trying to remove her other glove with her teeth. She can't stop crying.

She takes a final look, the fire having shattered windows and is beginning to engulf everything. She touches the Portkey before she's ready and she lands on her knees in her flat.

"Where _were you_?" her mother says, sounding distant to her ears.

Daphne doesn't respond, letting her mother search through the bag, listens to her curse in Japanese, something she has never heard her mother do. Neither has she held Daphne's face between her hands.

"Daphne," her mother says softly, voice wavering. "What did you do?"

She tells her about the book burning at Hogwarts, how she felt trapped and angry and powerless. She tells her about catching Theodore Nott reading a banned book and how things spiraled, how they developed a small empire right under You-Know-Who's nose. She tells her of the letter he left Daphne, a last favor.

Her mother is staring at her like she's unrecognizable, her hands long since fallen to her sides.

Once Daphne is able to breathe evenly, her mother opens her bag again and inspects what's inside, eyes widening in almost comical manner. "How many are in here?" her mother asks.

"I don't know," Daphne answers in a rough voice. "Thousands, maybe."

"What were you to do with all of these?"

She shrugs. "They're mine, I suppose. I was thinking about donating some to Hogwarts."

Her mother sighs tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Alright. Collect what you want. The rest we're hiding. Where's the letter he wrote?"

"In Japan, at –"

"Alright, good. When you get there, burn it. No evidence left."

"I will."

"I mean _all of it_. Not just his directions. All traces of it," her mother adds with a pointed look.

Daphne flushes, but nods.

"Get what you need."

She takes out close to fifty books; most of which she will send to Hogwarts somehow, and the rest are ones Theodore and her had talked about before, the ones he wasn't sure about risking. She should keep them hidden with the rest, but she's selfish and wants to have things when she's in Japan.

Once she's done, she follows her mother into the kitchen, which confuses her until she discovers they have a hidden opening in the linen drawer. Her mother helps her stuff the bag inside, the crash when it hits the bottom making her jump.

"What you did was a _huge risk_ ," her mother says. "This is very unlike you."

"I know."

"Make sure this _never_ happens again."

Daphne nods, ashamed.

"And…this… _friendship_ , if you will, with Nott. It's over? You're not in contact with him?"

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, I'm not in contact with him. I haven't seen him since Hogwarts. I have no idea where he went."

Her mother nods, relieved. "Good." She places a hand on Daphne's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Daphne clenches her jaw and shakes her head. "No, you're not."

"No," her mother admits, crossing her arms in a way that's so reminiscent of her _sobo_. "It's a terrible match. I don't care what his father told people, but I have my suspicions about his wife's death. She never did quite fit in."

"Well," Daphne starts slowly, using all her control to keep her voice even. "You were right to have them." She swallows. "I'll dispose of my clothes. This won't be discussed again." She leaves her mother in the kitchen, stripping her robe and throwing it into the fireplace, unbuttoning her blouse when she opens the bathroom door with a flick of her gaze and shutting it without a backwards glance.

(She never feels lower than she does while scrubbing her skin raw, biting back sobs as tries to forget how she felt in that room, how she stupidly thought about smelling his pillow to catch a whiff of him. She's nothing but a stupid, emotional fool.)

**

Two days before her last check-in, the flat is raided. It's thorough – they comb through everything. Daphne and her parents sit quietly for hours as they search and find nothing.

At least this time they make sure to put everything back in its original place and don't break anything.

Once they leave, her father says, "I'm rather peckish. Fancy a night out?"

Daphne swallows. "I can make dinner – I learned some things from _sobo_."

Her mother looks at them both, then slowly, around the living room. "Alright, Daphne. Be careful with cutting yourself."

Daphne makes them a casual _kaiseki_ dinner – an arrangement of dishes for all of them, trying to make as much noise as possible while her parents quietly search for the bugs the Ministry has been liberally hiding in their flat over the last few months. An invasive and unfortunately too common technique used for spying. They eventually find one in the fireplace and one behind a watercolor that her _sofubo_ gave her parents as a wedding gift.

" _Taihen yoku dekimashita,_ " her mother compliments her formally, as a teacher would to a student.

Daphne wrinkles her nose, but smiles. " _Arigatou_."

They spend the meal speaking in Japanese. She knows it's just to frustrate the Ministry – if they translate what they say, they'll only know that her grandparents have agreed to house Daphne when she eventually arrives, that they're reaching out to contacts in order to help expand her education. Nothing damning.

Still, when she offers to clean, lifting the bowls with a wordless flick of her wand, she makes sure to knock all the bowls together, an awful clanging noise that she's sure will make those listening in wince in pain.

**

Daphne arrives for her final check-in at the Ministry. She sits across from her Auror – Auror McCarthy – and answers her questions. At the end, they sit in silence, Daphne waiting for the words.

"Well, I believe this ends your probation period, if you will," Auror McCarthy says. Daphne doesn't know her first name.

Daphne nods her head, re-crossing her legs.

"And the request to go to Japan once you're cleared – that's still what you want?"

"Yes."

"After all this, you want to _leave_?"

"That's precisely it. I've had enough."

If Daphne didn't know any better, she would think that the Auror looks embarrassed.

"Was I cleared to leave? I would like to go as soon as possible."

"For what reason?"

 _Don't you already know_ , she wants to snap back. "My _sofubo_ – my grandparents – they have connections for me to further my education. I figured since it's impossible to find work now, perhaps with more knowledge I will seem more attractive."

The Auror has nothing to say – she just dismisses her and informs her that the Ministry will contact her for the next transport to Japan.

"Good luck, Miss Greengrass."

"Goodbye."

Daphne leaves the Auror Department with her wand in hand, pleased and triumphant. Even when she spots Granger in the hallway – the unfortunate reminder of her existence doesn't ruin Daphne's mood.

There's just one person she has to see before she leaves.

She smiles when she spots Neville by the security desk.

"Hello," she greets.

"Hi! Everything go well?" he asks excitedly.

"Yes, I'm cleared," Daphne says, her smile widening. "Take me out for a drink to celebrate?"

"Yeah, of course!"

They get a few looks as they leave, but he doesn't seem to care at all.

**

Neville picks a spot for tea and a tray of sweets. She lets him pick what he wants since she's not the fondest of English sweets beyond biscuits.

"I have to admit – I was a bit surprised when you reached out," he says, after eating half a biscuit.

"Well, I figured you helped me in the beginning when no one else cared to – I thought catching up would be appropriate." Daphne takes a sip of her tea, testing the temperature. "Besides, I would like to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? Why?"

"I'm leaving for Japan soon. I'm not sure when I'll be coming back."

"Oh." Neville frowns. "Yeah. I get it."

She smiles at him. "I also have a favor to ask of you."

He looks at her with an inquisitive expression. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a smaller one, full of Gobstones. She reaches under the table and places the bag gently on his knee. He rests his hand on it, her hands slipping away under his.

"An anonymous donation to fill in the empty spots in the library," she explains.

His eyes widen a moment before he pockets them. "Has he contacted you?" Neville picks another biscuit.

"No, he left them behind."

Neville nods. "Alright. You're sure he wouldn't want credit? Maybe you can make the donation in your name instead."

"The Ministry has been through my home more times than I like to think about – they would be suspicious of this. It's best to have it be you or have it be anonymous."

"Okay." He doesn't look happy about it. "I'll do it anonymously." He smiles wistfully at her. "One last round."

She nods and lifts her teacup. "One last round."

He clinks his cup with hers.

**

A few days after her last check-in, she receives owl post that the next Portkey scheduled to travel to Japan will be in one week. However, it's to Tokyo, so she'll have to find means to get to Kyoto.

"It's alright. My wand registration would require me to go to Tokyo anyway - I might as well go there first," she considers out loud.

"You're still sure you want to go, darling?" her father asks.

"Yes. I'm sorry I won't be here for Easter."

"It's alright. We'll be there this summer."

Months from now.

Her father smiles as he brings a hand to her cheek. "I'm sorry we couldn't protect you from this."

She hates seeing such naked emotions on her father's face, so she smiles in a reassuring manner. "I'm alright. I want to go – I want to learn. I need a break from the rejections."

He nods. "We're proud of you. And we love you."

"I love you too."

He drops his hand and takes a breath, schooling his face in an eerily similar way. "Make sure you pack your summer things."

"I will, _chichi_."

He smiles at the affectionate name. "You keep that up and you may just become their favorite _mago_."

Daphne won't lie, that would be extremely satisfying, especially since the last time she saw her cousins at her great-grandmother's funeral, she thought they were dim.

"I'm sure I'll look very good in comparison."

She's sure that she'll have to interact with them, but at least this time she'll be able to say more than just pleasant greetings.

**

There are a group of twenty people in a junkyard that is miles outside of London waiting for a Portkey to activate. Most are Japanese – Ministry officials, judging by the emblems on their robes. A few nod in acknowledgment, but the rest ignore her.

The Portkey is a broken shower curtain rod to accommodate everyone. She's used to the pulling in her stomach and she's one of two people that manage to remain on their feet when they land.

The line to register her wand is short. When she's next, she greets the wizard in Japanese. He tests her knowledge, she thinks she surprises him, but she's just disgusted at being tested. When he realizes that she was born here, a dual-citizen, he almost appears sheepish when he returns her wand. " _Okaerinasai_." Welcome home.

She only smiles in response before leaving the Ministry.

**

By the time she arrives, her _sobo_ is walking over to her with an almost loving smile. " _Okaeri_."

Daphne takes a deep breath. " _Tadaima_."

 _I'm home_.

"Your meeting is on Monday. I suggest you use the next three days to study as much as possible."

"I will."

"I have taken the liberty of purchasing the books you'll need. They're in your room."

"Alright."

"I need to go into the city today, but your _sofu_ will be back shortly and he can help you with any clarifying questions you may have."

"Great. Thank you."

She smiles. "I have snacks for you. Study hard."

Daphne bows her head in thanks.

Before she studies, she takes out Theodore's letter, reading it through one more time. The parchment has softened a little. She carefully tears the bottom of the letter, his last sentence, _Yours, Theodore_ , and tucks it away before setting the rest of the letter on fire.

She's a selfish, foolish girl, but she's smart enough to protect her indulgences.

**

She studies nonstop with a fervor she hasn't felt since the summer, preparing for her N.E.W.T.s. She lets her _sofubo_ test her during meals and she practices her spell work outside in the snow.

When she's interviewed, she almost goes the entire two hours without thinking in English except to translate the spells she didn't quite get to learning the Japanese counterpart. She's accepted into the training program and given a list of even more books to purchase in order to catch up.

The program starts at eight in the morning and ends at four, but she stays an hour longer to make sure her characters are right and her charts are accurate. She studies more when she's home and sometimes skips her meals.

She dreams in Japanese and struggles to think of words in English.

The first month is a struggle to keep up, which culminates in Daphne inadvertently shattering all the windows out of frustration, rage, and humiliation. Her instructor gives her pointers and looks upon her with newfound respect.

The thing is, wandless magic is considered a gift in Japan, something that if controlled, shows great power and is deserving of the upmost respect. It’s a relic of the old days when wizards never used wands to practice magic. While in England and the western world, wandless magic is seen as a childish action, a lack of control over emotions, something to minimize with more training and a wand to channel magic.

The second month is a bit easier. She deliberately tries to perform magic without a wand, but it's difficult and doesn't work all the time.

In April she feels like she's no longer drowning. She meets her cousins for the first time in almost ten years and it feels like she's actually worthy. Her father's jokes about inheritance don't seem outlandish anymore when her _sofubo_ rant behind closed doors about what disappointments the other grandchildren are.

(Sometimes she pulls out the scrap of the letter and tries to wonder what may have happened if circumstances were different, if the resistance wasn’t successful, if they were closer, if she told him where her family would hide. But's all silly. She hides it away and occasionally dreams and hates herself for it in the morning.)

**

She writes to Astoria at school in Japanese and Astoria responds with a mix of kanji, hiragana and English. She seems to be doing well in her sixth year. There is starting to be less of a divide between Houses now – she's become friends with some Gryffindor and Hufflepuff girls and thinks they're nice.

Sometimes Daphne thinks about Neville and hopes he's doing alright.

She reads the _Daily Prophet_ , how the United Kingdom is trying to rebuild. She reads about isolated attacks on Muggles and Muggleborns from enraged purebloods. She doesn't know how to feel.

Eventually she stops. She focuses on what Japan is doing, how they're considering reforming education by either extending years at Mahoutokoro, or developing new schools.

On occasion, she'll visit the city of Kyoto and travel around Japan to lose herself. Pretending to be a Muggle becomes a strange, secret addiction. While she never considered herself to be an extremely social person at Hogwarts, she misses having friends and hates being so lonely, but it's easier to ignore her feelings and focus on expanding her knowledge.

May, June. Her family was supposed to come, but they can't afford to do so. Daphne informs her _sofubo_ in July that she's visiting England in August for two weeks to see her sister off for her last year at school.

" _With what funds_?" they ask knowingly.

"I have my own savings," she responds in English, which shocks them enough for them not to chastise her.

So she goes to the Ministry in Tokyo and schedules her trip in the middle of August.

Her _sofubo_ make plans for her for when she returns. She has over a month more training to do before she can potentially work. They're genuinely excited.

"I'll keep studying," she promises her _sofubo_ before leaving.

The wait for this Portkey to activate is more nerve wracking than the one from almost six months ago, but the anxiety is worth it once she's registered with the Ministry and returns home.

**

She goes to bed early and wakes up early due to the time difference, but her mother seems to be still awake from the night before, sipping a drink. She smiles at Daphne with red eyes.

"I never thought one of my children would fulfill my parents' dreams," she says to her. 

Daphne swallows before taking the glass from the table. Her mother never talked about it – why she left Japan, why she married an Englishman who was doing business for the Ministry. But Daphne now figures she must have gotten that rebellion from someone in the family. "I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me. I don't feel so unwanted there like I do here."

"We want you here, darling."

"Nobody else does when I step out of this flat," Daphne snaps. "I can't work here – nobody will hire me with the Greengrass last name. At least _Matsura_ carries weight in Japan."

"You know you'll never fully fit, Daphne, you're not –"

"I know exactly what I am. Do you think the world has ever let me forget it for a moment?" Daphne drinks the rest of what's in the glass in one go. "Go to sleep _okaasan_ , I'll take Astoria to Diagon Alley."

She goes back to her room and studies.

**

When Daphne enters Astoria's room to wake her up, she finds a half written letter to Draco Malfoy on her nightstand, with a letter addressed to her from him beside it.

" _What is this_?" she demands, shoving the letter in Astoria's sleepy face.

Astoria immediately wakes up, panic in her eyes. "I –"

"You've been talking to that _spineless scum_ –"

"He's not _spineless_ ," Astoria retorts. "You don't know him like I do! We've been talking for a year –"

"A _year_? _Ichinenkan_?!"

Astoria realizes her mistake in admittance and tries to explain. "We bumped into each other at Diagon Alley last year and he looked sad, so we just talked and we agreed to write and it just – it's been really nice. We can be honest with each other."

"And you can't be honest with _me_? Your friends?"

" _You_? You're not _here_! You haven't been _here_! You write to me in Japanese and refuse to talk about anything other than your stupid schooling! You don't care!"

"If you think I don't care then you're a willfully ignorant twat," Daphne responds coldly. "Get dressed. We'll leave in an hour."

"I'm not going with you."

"Our parents won't let you go on your own, so you're stuck with my uncaring self for the day," Daphne snaps, childishly slamming the door behind her on her way out.

**

The walk to the Leaky Cauldron is silent. Daphne doesn't know how to explain to her sister why Draco Malfoy isn't worth the time or the effort. He may be the face of what is now considered to be a _good Slytherin_ , but that doesn't mean much considering there have been better ones before Slytherins were considered anything other than terrible.

"I'll meet you at four, I'm meeting people," Astoria says dismissively before purposefully losing herself in the crowd.

Daphne takes a shaky breath and walks forward.

She shops alone. She recognizes some familiar faces from Astoria's year and smiles at fellow Slytherins, although some don't smile back.

She's in the teashop, even though there's really no point since she can't stomach English tea at the moment, when she bumps into Tracy.

Tracy is visibly surprised.

"Davis," Daphne greets coolly.

"You're back from Japan I see."

The fact that she knows where she's been makes her nauseous and her last string of patience snaps. "It must be nice to have someone who loves you and forgives you for your mortal sin of being a Slytherin. But I suppose you must love the free pass you get for bagging someone from a _good House_. Excuse me."

She brushes past her to exit the shop only to come face-to-face with Draco Malfoy. He opens his mouth and she cuts him off, "Don't." She leaves.

"Da – Greengrass," Malfoy says from behind her.

"It's _only_ Greengrass to you, despite your inappropriate correspondence with my _younger_ sister."

"She's been of age for months and we've _only_ been friends –"

"Shut your mouth, you scumbag."

"Is there a particular reason _why_ you're being rude? I can't even recall an instance in which I spoke with you," Malfoy demands.

"I suppose you wouldn't since I'm only something exotic to look at and not worth listening to," she retorts, taking a wild guess.

Malfoy doesn't say anything for a moment until he snorts. "I suppose I underestimated how close you and Nott were."

She was absolutely correct with unintended consequences. "You don't know me. You may have charmed my sister, but you know _nothing_ of me, our family, or _anything_ else of true importance –"

"I don't think that's true in the slightest and that frightens you for whatever selfish reason."

She rounds on him, loathing his smug expression. "Don't you _dare_ talk to me about being _selfish_ , you self-serving –"

"Oh, Daphne! I found you!"

Daphne whips her head away from Malfoy and stares incredulously at Luna Lovegood, who is eating Bertie Bots from the box with a pleased expression on her face.

" _Luna_?" Daphne says, still in shock.

"We should chat!" Luna says happily before turning to Malfoy. "Sorry, but you're not invited. I hope you step in dung today," she adds with a continued pleasant voice, but her eyes are noticeably cold.

Daphne almost laughs at Malfoy's embarrassed expression.

"If you hurt my sister in any way, I'll make sure you'll never be able to talk again," Daphne warns him. She leaves him and stands by Luna. "It's nice to see you," she says as they walk down the road.

"Yes, it is. I saw your little sister in Obscurus Books, so I hoped you were here." Her face is suddenly very close to hers as she whispers in Daphne's ear, "I saw a mutual friend."

Daphne stops walking and stares at Luna, whose face breaks into a wide smile.

"Let's talk outside of Diagon Alley," Daphne says faintly, feeling distinctly dizzy.

"Yes, that would be best."

**

They find a busy Muggle restaurant and order coffee and tea.

"You seem very comfortable," Luna points out.

"I've had plenty of practice. How's…Ted?"

Luna smiles. "Grand. We bumped into each other by accident. I was searching for a creature I now think doesn't really exist."

"Where?"

"Iceland. Near Vík. On a beautiful beach. He lives closer to Reykjavík, though."

Daphne shouldn't be surprised that out of every person in the world, Luna would be the one to find him, and it would be a strange coincidence. She sighs. "Iceland." She turns the idea around in her head. She can see why – it's sparsely populated, they keep out of European affairs, and more importantly, it always seems to be an overlooked country.

"He's alright?"

"Yes. He is. He told me that you would possibly be in Kyoto, so I went there a few weeks ago to do some research and also look for you, but I sadly missed you."

Daphne can't even _think_ of any particular time when she mentioned her extended family living in Kyoto and her face warms as the implication that he really listened and _remembered_. "I don't really go by Greengrass there anymore," Daphne says. She hasn't told her family yet that she's starting to take on the Matsura name. "The Greengrass name has always held a bit of a scandal."

Luna nods. "I was disappointed. He very much wants to see you."

"I don't believe he'd say that."

"No, but he was a terrible liar when it comes to you. It's funny."

Funny isn't exactly the right word.

"Well, that's what I wanted to tell you. That, and there's a pub called the Abraxan's Choice. And his owl is in the owlery down the right road from it. If you want to see him."

Daphne shuts her eyes briefly and breathes.

"Let me know when. I'll create a Portkey for you."

"You will?" Daphne asks, surprised.

"You two are kind in your own ways. I don't think you know how nice that is." Luna reaches into her hideous purse and takes out Muggle money to leave on the table with the bill.

"Thank you."

Luna smiles. "I'll walk you back to the Leaky Cauldron." As they walk, Lune asks, "I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Did you really burn Theodore's house down with gasoline and…fire?"

"Matches, they're called," Daphne answers.

Luna hums. "Yes, they're still very stumped about that. Neville has his suspicions though."

"How is Neville?"

"He's doing well. He's studying to be the Herbology Professor at Hogwarts when Sprout retires."

"I'm sure he'll be a fantastic professor."

"I'll tell him that."

They're at the entrance and Daphne is very tempted to hug her, but she's not comfortable. She's surprised when Luna leans forward and pecks her on the cheek. " _Sayonara._ "

Daphne smiles. " _Totemoii_."

" _Hai_!" Luna waives and starts skipping away.

Daphne shakes her head with a smile and enters the Leaky Cauldron. Tracy is at the bar, drinking a frothy cocktail. She takes a deep breath and sits in the empty seat next to her.

She swallows and tries to center herself before speaking. "This is what has been happening: my parents argued the entire year about leaving England. We almost didn't come back after Easter. I think they're going to move to Japan soon. The book system was never intended to be what it was. I caught him reading a burned book in the common room and it spiraled from there. I was barely compartmentalizing everything. I've been in Japan because I can't _work_ here. Half the time I think it's for me – to learn – and half the time I think I'm only going through with it so my grandparents will continue to support my family as long as they have me a consolation prize for their failure of a daughter. My sister has been corresponding via owl post with Draco Malfoy for a year and I just found out about it this morning and I hate him." 

She flags down the bartender and orders a shot of firewhiskey. "I'm going back to Japan on September fifth and before today, I thought I wouldn't come back to England for another six months, maybe not for another year or two, but now I'm reconsidering." Her shot and is poured and she takes it in one swig. "And, yes, I believe I did fancy Nott. No, nothing remotely salacious happened."

Daphne waits tensely for a response.

"I definitely thought you fancied him towards the end of the year."

Daphne risks a glance at Tracy, who is hesitantly smiling. "Was I that obvious?"

"Your eyes lit up sometimes."

Daphne shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. I was really cruel. It was…easier to denounce everyone. I couldn't handle it, what everyone was going through,” Tracy says. 

Daphne smiles. "Self preservation. We get it."

"Still, we're supposed to stand together." Tracy sighs and takes a sip of her drink. "I'm thinking of breaking up with Ben. I thought he cared about all of me, but I don't think he really does."

"You deserve someone who does."

"Thank you." Tracy offers her drink to Daphne.

Daphne takes a sip and grimaces. "This is terrible."

"I know."

They both laugh a little.

"I'm a full-time staff member of the _Prophet_. I'm sure, if you want, I can pitch something – maybe you writing a guest piece if you do want to talk about the book system."

Daphne thinks she'll have to speak with Theodore about that. The thought inadvertently makes her close to grinning. "I'll let you know."

"You can have this horrible thing. I have to go – I need to finish up an article. But, you'll owl me?"

Daphne nods. "Yes, I will. Bye, Tracy."

"Bye, Daphne."

Daphne fights back tears as she hugs her friend tightly. When Tracy pulls back, she says, "You know, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Nott fancied you back – he looked like he actually respected you when you talked," with a teasing glint in her eye. "You don't know where he is?"

Daphne shrugs, unable to lie to her.

"Maybe one day?"

"Maybe."

Tracy gives her a final, warm smile and leaves the Leaky Cauldron. Daphne feels over a thousand pounds lighter having her friend back. Maybe that's why when Astoria returns with Malfoy in toe, she's not seething with anger.

She doesn't approve – she'll never approve of whatever their relationship is. But Daphne can't fight it, can't protect her sister from what she wants.

"You have to tell Mum and Dad," Daphne says on their way back home.

"There's nothing to tell."

 _Yet_ , probably, going with Daphne's gut, but she's ignoring that for now. She's also trying to stop her thoughts from immediately going to Theodore, but it's difficult and she hides her sudden smiles by looking away.

**

Her parents inform them that they'll be moving to Japan after Christmas. Tokyo, most likely, but they're still working things out.

Daphne is unsurprised, but Astoria was not expecting the announcement. Astoria tries to convince them all night to stay, but Daphne doesn't have the heart to do so when she's been torn about which side of the world to start her life on.

She tries to study at night, but it's difficult when she keeps distracting herself by planning a secret trip to Iceland without the Ministry knowing.

**

Daphne hugs her sister on Platform 9 ¾.

"Do well and be careful," she says.

"I will."

As Daphne steps back, Astoria grabs her arm to keep her close. "You know, you should try to do something just for _you_."

Daphne takes a deep breath. "Maybe."

Astoria beams. "I'll take it. Love you."

"I love you too."

When she arrives home, she writes a letter to Luna, requesting a final meeting before she leaves for Kyoto.

**

Three days later, the day before Daphne leaves, she meets Luna at her quaint home. Luna greets her at the front door with a bright smile.

"I'll make you a Portkey," she says before Daphne can even open her mouth to exchange pleasantries.

"Oh," she can only manage to say dumbly.

"I'm assuming you'll want something small."

"I need to hide it in London," Daphne confirms.

"Would you like some tea?"

"That would be nice, thank you."

The tea is some woodsy concoction from her garden that tastes very strange. Daphne requests that the Portkey take her to that beach she met Theodore on. "I think I may need time," she quietly admits. "Thank you. I know it's a risk, creating an illegal Portkey –"

"I don't mind," Luna says, pointing her wand and a hairbrush. "I think I've gotten used to breaking the law for good causes. It can be quite exhilarating."

It takes her a few minutes to complete the spell.

Daphne smiles a little. "I'll send you some tea when I've arrived in Kyoto as a thank you."

"An unsubtle way of insulting my tea, which does seem to have a funny aftertaste."

It was, but Daphne had hoped it would go unnoticed. "May I ask what you used?"

"Tree bark, essentially."

Daphne tries not to wrinkle her nose. "Ah."

"I read about its healing properties, but it may not be worth it."

Daphne smiles. "Maybe not. I have to go, but, thank you, Luna."

"You're very welcome, Daphne." She hands the hairbrush over. "Maybe one day we'll have tea. You, me, Neville, Theodore. It would be nice to be together." 

Daphne thinks it would be too. "Perhaps one day."

**

September drags on. Now that she has a date – October eighteenth – she feels like time stops moving forward sometimes.

Halfway through the month, dinner is interrupted by her _sobo_ saying in English, "You're distracted, Daphne."

Daphne sips her tea. "I'm performing well. What concerns you?"

"You're unfocused. You're not studying as much as you did before going to England."

"I'm caught up with what I need to learn. Is that not enough?"

"You know it's not."

Daphne places her cup down on the table. "I'm fourth in the program. I think can manage third in the next two weeks. I'd consider that brilliant, given the disadvantages I have."

"Don't get complacent."

"I won't."

"Good. I think you should practice your spell work after dinner."

Daphne shuts her eyes. " _Hai_ ," she consents, opening her eyes and picking up her chopsticks to continue eating, despite her lack of hunger.

**

She finishes third in her program. She has two job offers at small clinics. Being a Healer wasn't something she really considered, but Theodore's natural skill in it had fascinated her and inspired her to do better.

She takes the job at the clinic that's in between Tokyo and Kyoto, signing a contract for one year. Her first day is November first.

" _I need to take time for myself,_ " she had explained, which they respected.

In the meantime, she sends an assortment of tea to Luna, wishing her a _belated_ happy birthday. She writes a short letter to Astoria that reads, _I'm heeding your words._

It's her first time creating a Portkey, but she knows she got it right.

Her _sobo_ is furious at Daphne's lack of explanation for her illegal travels, but Daphne calmly promises she will return in ten days. She is ignored for her last day in Japan.

Her parents are even angrier when she arrives.

"You're risking _everything_ – what could you _possibly_ need to do that couldn't _wait_?"

Daphne swallows and looks at her mother. "I have to meet someone."

"Who – that Nott boy?" her mother demands. "I _said_ that wasn't worth it."

"I have to respectfully disagree, Mum."

"Disagreeing with me _is_ disrespectful, Daphne. Why are you doing this? Do you fancy yourself in love?"

"No," Daphne insists. "I just…would like to see him, and I think," she inadvertently smiles a little, "he wants to see me too."

Her mother inhales sharply. "Where are you going?"

Daphne shakes her head. "I can't tell you."

" _How_ do you know where he is?"

"That's not your concern."

"Your life _is_ my concern, don't act childish."

"Mum, everything I've done was for the protection and honor of this family. You know that. I've given a lot of me over this past year – to you, to Astoria, to the Ministry, to my grandparents. This is something I simply _want_ for _me_."

It's a lifetime before her mother slowly nods. "Alright."

"Thank you."

"I don't like it at all."

"I know."

"I expect you to return in a week."

"I will."

Her mother drops her head and pinches the bridge of her nose, muttering under her breath in Japanese.

"You know that doesn't work anymore."

Her mother smiles apologetically. "I'm sorry we never properly taught you and Astoria. We thought it would be easier."

"I know, it's alright."

"You're really very good."

"I wouldn't say so."

"You are. I'm sure in a year you'll be perfectly fluent."

"Thanks, Mum."

Her mother reaches a hand out to cup her face. "Be safe."

**

Luna's description of this beach didn't quite do it justice.

Daphne keeps taking deep breaths, watching the sun start to set. She's so nervous that her hands are shaking, so she crosses her arms in hopes of stilling them. She's done much riskier things over the last year and a half – the past two years, really. Seeing a former classmate should not make her this anxious. 

Over the shore, she can hear someone coming toward her. She whips her head toward the noise, her hair flying behind her as she notes in heart-stopping shock that it's Theodore.

"I gave Luna instructions."

She blinks. She's not surprised that he hasn't changed since they last saw each other, but it's still something she has to adjust to – just like he'll probably have to adjust to her. "She did. But she told me about this beach and I wanted to see it first," she says, stretching the truth a little.

He stops, her bag of his family library between their feet. "I would've taken you."

She smiles in appreciation. "Hello, Theodore."

"Daphne."

**

She likes his home – small, warm, orderly. She likes that he picked Iceland and seems to carry himself a little less stiffly, although it's amusing to watch him go back and forth.

She likes that he listens, that he frowns at the right moments, scowls in others. She likes that there's a mutual understanding, a tentative acknowledgment of something that can potentially exist outside of Hogwarts' walls.

She likes that he almost stutters when considering sleeping arrangements and she likes the flush on his face from the mead and embarrassment and she likes the way he looks at her, like he's trying to drink her in.

She's only able to fall asleep quickly because she's suffering from the change in time zone.

**

They both wake up early, the sun two hours away from rising. She gifts him a few different kinds of tea in the morning.

"I'm afraid I've lost my tolerance for English tea," she explains sheepishly.

"Funny, I thought you lost it in fifth year when the kitchens began adding a kettle of plain, boiling water to our table during meals."

"To be fair, Astoria has always liked to have matcha once a day," she says because she's too surprised to consider that he made the connection when he didn't care about her.

The corner of his mouth twitches. "What do you like to drink in the morning?"

She gives him _kocha_. She explains that it's black tea, but not a blend like English breakfast or Earl Grey. She prepares it and pours two cups. His brow furrows when he tries it at first, but he gives her a small smile.

"It's nice," he says. "Although you'll have to pry my English breakfast from my cold, dead hands."

She laughs a little. "I have a few more left for you to try."

"I look forward to it."

He shows her Iceland's newspaper, which is just a few pages, and they laugh a little of what they consider to be news. "It almost reads like _The Quibbler_ ," she says, biting her lip in amusement. 

"I can safely inform you that this is a very accurate source of news," Theodore says with a shake of his head. 

"Even this piece about Reykjavík and the clouds?"

"Saw it for myself."

She brings a hand to her mouth to muffle her laughter.

"If you'd like, I can take you to Reykjavík today. It's quite small, it's no London, but it's…charming."

She picks up her tea and smiles over the rim, a warmth in her chest that isn't from the hot drink.

**

They go through stretches of silences, punctuated with conversations that fill in the blanks of their year. She tells him about Neville being her witness, helping with the _anonymous_ donation to Hogwarts. She tells him about her training, her job waiting for her.

He tells her of his experiments – the ones that work, the ones that accidentally blew up half his home, which makes her laugh out loud. He tells her of the _Prophets_ that he would manage to find and eventually, he stopped collecting them. He tells her of the sense of peace he earned in this quiet corner of the world.

It's a side of him she never wants to go without.

**

In Abraxan's Choice, she teaches him how to say basic things in Japanese: hello, goodbye, good morning, how are you. He stumbles on the phrases, but she loves his trying until he gets it right.

"Say something in Japanese. Anything."

She swallows. She considers talking about the weather, or maybe talking about the latest book she read, but instead she says, " _I missed you and I think I fancy you more than I thought I did or was going to._ "

He stares at her blankly.

"What?" she asks, flushing.

"You said you were _passable_. You sound fluent to me," he finally says, clearly impressed.

She looks down and curls her hair behind her ear. "Trust me, my family can always find something to nitpick. Hopefully by next year I'll really be close to perfect."

"Why did you never speak it at Hogwarts?"

"I did sometimes with Astoria in private to keep us from forgetting, but it wasn't something I wanted attention for."

"Japanese sounds a lot more pleasant to the ears than the terrible Welsh."

"Well, I can't argue with that," she says with a smile.

He leans forward a little. "So, you said politeness and familiarity are integral to speaking the language?"

She thinks she may have to leave him a list of books for him so he can study the language in his free time, judging by the glint of interest in his eyes. Despite his admittance than languages may not be his strong suit as they leave the pub, she thinks she'd be pleased with correcting someone else's mistakes with the language.

**

She hates that their peace was ruined. She hates the way Theodore's face shudders into something unreadable when they're at his table with McGonagall. She hates the way she talks to them, how she schedules Daphne an interview without knowing or caring what she's planned and earned for herself.

She hates being painted in broad strokes and not being seen for what she is.

But the Northern Lights above her reflect off Theodore's face and his hand trembles a little and his mouth is warm against hers; she feels like they take it back.

**

When they arrive back, her mouth is tingling and she's shivering.

"Tea?" he questions, immediately starting a fire with a flick of his wand.

" _Hai_ – ah, yes," she stutters as she slips off her coat and hangs it by the door.

He glances over his shoulder at her and smiles.

She's never felt giddy before.

"What you said to Professor McGonagall – about remaining in London…" he trails off, inviting her to explain.

She sighs, taking a seat at the table. "I would like to return to London one day," she admits. "And I'd like to get my foot in the door. But I signed my contract and I gave my word. Japan has been good to me this year and I would like to give back to it."

He nods as he pours them tea. He brings the cups to the table and shudders with a chill once settled with his hands around his cup.

They stare at each other.

"Well, we always did benefit from a little outside help," she says after a minute of silence.

He purses his mouth, but doesn't disagree.

She sips her tea, sighing at its heat. 

"This…is most likely an inappropriate question," he starts slowly, his already pink cheeks from the cold getting redder.

She lowers her cup and smiles briefly. "Yes, I've snogged someone before, but not anyone from Hogwarts. He went to Mahoutokoro and was a year above me. He unfortunately didn't fancy me and only did it as a bet on whom would kiss…well. It's a horrible name, worse than Mudblood."

His eyes darken as he lifts his cup to his mouth.

"Don't worry, he was taken care of," she adds lightly.

She thinks his skin color never quite got back to its original tone after that incident, but she hasn't seen him since that summer. Still, after that embarrassment, she knew she'd never be romantically tied with anyone while she was at school.

"I suppose it…is quite obvious that I…"

She holds her breath, wondering if he'll finish his thought.

He straightens his back – a subtle gesture. "I have feelings for you. Or…I fancy you, as is the popular term. I've never had these…feelings before, so you'll have to forgive me for my lack of surety."

She smiles at him. " _I fancy you too_ ," she responds in Japanese.

"You said something similar at the pub," he immediately picks up.

Her smile brightens. He understands and for a brief moment, he smiles wide enough to reveal his teeth.

**

They sit on the edge of his bed in their sleep clothes for all of a minute before he propels himself off, immediately scanning their surroundings.

It takes her a few seconds to understand. "She didn't leave a bug."

"How do you know?"

"Because the Ministry has left plenty in my flat. I know what it feels like."

He stops walking and looks at her. She inhales deeply, wanting him close again, but the distance now lets her breathe.

His eyes flicker to the corner of the room where her cot was last night, then back at her. He lifts his wand, but she shakes her head minutely.

He makes his way over to her, his brow furrowed in thought.

"What is going on in that head of yours, Theodore Nott?" she asks, a little teasing.

"I've been wondering the same thing, Daphne Greengrass," he responds, deadpan. "Ladies first?"

She raises her eyebrows and she has to fight back a smile. "If you would prefer not to share…"

"Would you not prefer to be taken out on a date first?" he interrupts, face serious.

She bites her bottom lip, but she hides her amusement very poorly. "You can take me out for dinner tomorrow if you'd like."

"What would you like?"

She stands up and tilts her chin up, looking at him through hooded eyes, silently asking him for a kiss. Her heart flutters in her chest when his lips touch hers, his free hand tentatively coming up to her face, fingertips lightly grazing her jaw. She shivers and opens her mouth for him, his hand tangling in her hair, tugging a little as he brings their hips flush together.

His wand clatters to the ground, the loud, bright spark scaring them apart.

His mouth is distractingly swollen and his eyes are bright as he laughs sheepishly. She smiles and reaches up to put her hands on his shoulders. "Put your wand away before you blow up your house again."

**

They fall asleep on opposite sides of his bed and wake up that way – although the space between them is smaller, reachable. He twists his body to reach his nightstand, his shirt riding up. He hands her a tablet and chews on one. She puts it in her mouth, eyes widening at the burst of mint.

"Another invention?" she questions, her voice low.

"I'm still perfecting it – I'm not thrilled with the aftertaste, but it's gotten better."

She grimaces a little. "I'll still brush my teeth." She reaches into the empty space between them, writing Theodore's name in katakana: セオドール.

"Thank you."

She lifts her eyes to meet his gaze.

"I know it was a dangerous risk – going to my old home. It was selfish, and I'm sorry."

She stops moving her finger. She swallows, inadvertently shifting closer. "I think I needed it too."

It's hard to explain, how it didn't feel like a burden – she never felt like there was guilt involved. She did all she could to bring honor to Slytherin and she would go to the ends of the earth for her family – it just took her a while to realize that Theodore had become a person to care for.

"I hope you believe me…that I would've done the same for you."

"It would've certainly have been harder to destroy a flat in London."

"True," he allows. "But I'm sure I could figure out a way."

She snorts a little, sitting up on her elbow to move her hair behind her, but to her surprise, one of Theodore's hands reaches out, pausing just by her face. "You don't need to ask permission," she tells him.

"Yes, I do," he responds, his fingers, curling her hair behind her ear.

She turns her face into his hand, his palm warm and soft. "Will you tell me about your mother?" she asks.

His thumb runs over her cheekbone. He nods. She lowers herself down, closer. He leans forward a little, his forehead pressing against hers and her breath hitches in her throat.

"Okay," he begins.

**

She was right – Theodore's mother does sound like she was similar to Luna, if Luna's self-awareness led her to the conclusion that she needed to hide herself. Daphne traces the shell of his ear, his jawline, his mouth.

She's resting her head on his shoulder and his arm is around her shoulders, his free hand cupping her cheek. The sun is starting to rise.

"What about Gilly?" she asks in a whisper, hoping that the house elf won’t come barging in.

"I left a sign on the door in the middle of the night, she won't come," he says, his nose brushing against hers.

She wants to be in this space until she has no concept of time anymore. She wants him this close and not over eight thousand kilometers away. She wants to kiss him until she's dizzy and can barely catch her breath and she wants his hands under her shirt and to feel his sleep-warm skin past his collarbone. 

His mouth is on her pulse point and she presses her body against his and gasps.

**

He takes her out to a nice restaurant in Reykjavík that night. It's a sweet gesture, but a little unnecessary – she doesn't need to be wooed and she doesn't think he's really capable of it anyway.

But she is thrilled that he's the one who takes her hand when they leave the restaurant.

Overall, it's like a vacation from her life. There aren't expectations to live up to and there isn't a concept of honor. She makes him laugh once and she thinks she can conjure the strongest Patronus the world has ever seen.

She catches him looking at her like he's trying to memorize her. Sometimes she's embarrassed, sometimes it takes her breath away, and sometimes she simply stares right back.

On their last full day together, she hands him what can easily be mistaken for a jewelry box.

"Think of it as a shrunken Vanishing cabinet," she answers his quizzical look. "We can't send essays to one another, but I think this will do."

He inspects it with his usual focused gaze for a few moments. "I must visit Japan in the future," he says. "This is brilliant magic."

She can picture it – seeing his face against cherry blossoms and walking past temples in Kyoto and bathing in neon lights of Tokyo. Seeing him in her grandparents' home while he does a respectable, if awkward job of speaking the language. She can't imagine their reactions, but she thinks she could handle whatever they feel.

She smiles. "That would be nice," she says.

**

"Come on."

"This is really bothering you that much?"

"I can't believe you're being so evasive!"

"Evasive about what?"

"Are you _really_ not going to tell me what that bloody potion is?" she asks, keeping him close by grasping his cloak.

He grins briefly for a moment. "Fine," he allows, "I'll tell you." He leans forward, her heart thumping in her chest as he whispers, "I'm going to make the Wolfsbane potion obsolete."

She's unsure if it's because Lupin was one of the two decent professors they had in Defense Against the Dark Arts, or if it's because this presented the biggest challenge and Theodore does seem to experience a particular joy in proving himself to be the smartest person in the room, even if it's only to himself.

"Clever, clever, clever," she says, pulling him back into her space and kissing him.

Saying goodbye is difficult, but at least she knows this time that she'll see him again. Still, when she arrives back in her flat in London, her eyes sting and her heart aches.

She fights back her pain with focusing on her studies, reviewing what she needs to know for her new position and also teaching herself techniques for her interview at St. Mungo's.

**

McGonagall comes to her flat in the morning to escort her.

"I've had to pull a lot of strings with the Ministry to explain how you're here. You're to return to Kyoto at noon."

Daphne nods, not trusting herself to respond.

The board of directors sees Daphne right away, which is a nice change of pace from the last time she interviewed at an agency in London. They confirm that she's legally changing her last name, they ask about her N.E.W.T.s, other training she has. She can tell they're impressed, which is why she waits until the end of the interview to say that she cannot accept a position at this time because she's already made commitments in Japan.

McGonagall is angry, judging by the pursed mouth and flaring nostrils. 

"I'd be honored to work here," Daphne continues calmly. "Perhaps after my year, I will come back with more knowledge to better St. Mungo's."

Reluctantly, they tell her to return once she's settled back in London.

She doesn't say goodbye to McGonagall – she instead makes her way to the _Daily Prophet_ office to see Tracy.

"I don't have a lot of time, I have to get back to Kyoto, but want to possibly work with you on an article about the book system," Daphne explains as Tracy gapes at her in surprise.

"Oh, well, yes! Absolutely. I'll see about expensing a quick trip to Kyoto, that is, if you'll have me," she responds nervously.

Daphne smiles. "Yes, you're welcome."

Tracy grins excitedly. "That's great – why the change of heart?"

Daphne asked Theodore at one point while they were both reading in his bed – if he wanted to keep it a secret indefinitely, if he wanted to have people masking his involvement in something important.

_"I never wanted attention for it since I wanted to disappear at the end of the year," he said. "But now with certain developments, perhaps honesty would be wise."_

"I think it's time for the truth, even if it doesn't fit with the black and white narrative that's being shoved down our throats," Daphne answers. "You may want to get Neville Longbottom's word as well. You may be able to convince him to visit Japan for the botany."

"Okay…"

She looks confused, which Daphne doesn't blame her for, but she really has to leave, so she briefly hugs Tracy and tells her to owl her when she can figure out a good time to visit.

Daphne is out of the country at noon and arrives in Kyoto when it's nine at night. She immediately goes into her bedroom and opens up her box, pleased to find a piece of parchment inside.

She reads what Theodore wrote and smiles.

" _Daphne_!" her sobo calls. " _Onaka suita_?"

Daphne brings a hand to her stomach, filled with butterflies. " _Ie, kekkou desu_!"

She's more than okay.


End file.
